Aug. 20
So it has been a while since I have blogged. There has been so much change that I needed to process before I shared with you. So as of right now, I am unemployed, homeless, and on vacation with my mum. I can't be any happier. I quitmy job and have decided to move to Calgary to focus on school. Which means that my time in Edmonton has come to an end. I have spent 6 years in the city and have loved very moment of it. I grew up spiritually there and have come so far. If you have been following any of my posts, you have read what changes have happened in my life the last few years. The past few months have been a struggle for me. Back in May I was struggling with moving to Calgary. I didn't want to leave my church family and my friends in Edmonton. 3 months later, I have quit my job and have moved all my stuff backto my parents...at least the stuff I won't need in Calgary. I move to Calgary on the 1st of September and start classesthe next week. Now that I am on vacation and have moved, I am super exited to move and start the next chapter of my life in Calgary. I believe that God already has a church for me and that He has provided all that I need in Calgary.He will have a job for me and friends. Have I ever mentioned that I am an introvert and that I have anxiety issues? This is where I start to struggle and where you can help. Naturally, I am the girl who sits and watches people. I don't normally join in conversations or activities. With the move to Calgary, I am going to have to force myself intosituations where I am uncomfortable. I am going to have to force myself to make new friends and get involved in minstry. The part where I start to fail is in the putting myself out there. In my head, I do know that it is not that hard to makefriends and put myself out there, but there is always a part of me that will have me staying home or avoiding issues so that I don't have to deal with them. It's not ok for me to do that anymore. This is going to be part of the next step; working through the anxiety and fear to allow others to know me as God has created me. I have to learn how to work through the anxiety and introversion; I can't let them stay the boundaries that I know they can become. These boundaries have given me excusses not to put myself out there and have created so much fear in me that I can not physically deal with anything. This is the year that I learn how to deal with my anxiety. This is going to be a year of change where I let God work healing into my life and cure me of my fear and anxiety. This is going to be a year of change.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
God leads, I follow?
I know I've posted this song before, but it has been in my head for a while now. Read the lyrics and let the truth wash over you... I often want to lead my life and go where I want to. I was in Calgary a while ago for a course and there had been something that I was struggling with (and maybe fighting against)... It was the decision to move to Calgary for school... My reasons for not going? A) I have a job here B) My church is here - I'm heavily involved in the childrens' ministry and other ministries C) My life has been here the last few years... I had been fighting with God about not going... and although I had made the decision to stay in Edmonton... I had no peace about it. While in Calgary for my course, one of the questions God asked (through my prof) was "Do you think that you are the only one who loves your kids?" WOW... Ummm... There's not much to say to that. I had time to reflect and really take a look at why I wanted to stay in Edmonton and what God was calling me to do... I realized that I was scared. I was scared of saying yes to God and letting Him lead me where He wants me to go. By the end of the week, I knew for sure that I was moving to Calgary at the end of the summer... I still am not sure where I am going to live or where I am going to work (although there is a good opportunity coming up), but God has provided a church where I can serve and gain valuable ministry experience. And you know what? I have complete peace about this decision. I have no fear, no anxiety, no worries at all about moving. I know that God has called me to Calgary for this next season in my life and that He has it all under control.
God is AMAZING!
God will make a way - Don Moen
God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength
For each new day
He will make a way
He will make a way
By a roadway in the wilderness
He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
He will do something new today
God is AMAZING!
God will make a way - Don Moen
God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength
For each new day
He will make a way
He will make a way
By a roadway in the wilderness
He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
He will do something new today
Sunday, March 25, 2012
S.N.O.W.
No, that does not mean the white fluffy stuff that falls to the ground... It stands for Sunday Night Of Worship. It happens once a month between some of the churches. It's a glorious night where we can come together as brothers and sisters in Christ and worship our AMAZING God! Tonight, was a wonderful blessed night. God was definately praised!
I've been struggling for the last while with fear. Fear of social situations and fear of being myself in front of others... It's irrational, but I struggle with it. This first link is to a song that we sang tonight. As we started singing it, I had to stop and let the words wash over me. The chorus goes like this:
When all you are is Glorious, Oh God
Victorious and strong
Whom shall I fear?
When all you are is Powerful and True
And good in all you do
Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
These are some powerful lyrics. Through the lyrics, God reminded me that I am not alone. He is always beside me, holding me close through the pain and fear. He will never leave me and never let me go. That is one AMAZING promise! It's a great reminder when I am struck by fear and too scared to be myself when I know others would love to get to know the real me. Listen to the song. It is a great reminder for myself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJfatpypaXY
This second song is from Hillsong. The whole lyrics are amazing. It reminds me that I am Restored, Redeemed, and Free. I am free to fall at the feet of Jesus in worship, in pain, in fear, and in surrender. However I am feeling, God is there, waiting to share my pain and love me. I can fall at the feet of Jesus and worship, worship as the broken, sinful, sinner I am; knowing that I am saved and loved unconditionally.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlrrHoM_tUU
Be blessed this week.
~C
I've been struggling for the last while with fear. Fear of social situations and fear of being myself in front of others... It's irrational, but I struggle with it. This first link is to a song that we sang tonight. As we started singing it, I had to stop and let the words wash over me. The chorus goes like this:
When all you are is Glorious, Oh God
Victorious and strong
Whom shall I fear?
When all you are is Powerful and True
And good in all you do
Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
These are some powerful lyrics. Through the lyrics, God reminded me that I am not alone. He is always beside me, holding me close through the pain and fear. He will never leave me and never let me go. That is one AMAZING promise! It's a great reminder when I am struck by fear and too scared to be myself when I know others would love to get to know the real me. Listen to the song. It is a great reminder for myself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJfatpypaXY
This second song is from Hillsong. The whole lyrics are amazing. It reminds me that I am Restored, Redeemed, and Free. I am free to fall at the feet of Jesus in worship, in pain, in fear, and in surrender. However I am feeling, God is there, waiting to share my pain and love me. I can fall at the feet of Jesus and worship, worship as the broken, sinful, sinner I am; knowing that I am saved and loved unconditionally.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlrrHoM_tUU
Be blessed this week.
~C
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Myths...
Do you keep secrets? Are you an open book to those around you? I often wonder what's not being said... by nature I'm an introvert. I know... not a huge surprise... but it's a fact. I'm not shy, I just don't like being around people all the time. I don't talk to others easily either. I am not a fan of small talk and would rather go for coffee one-on-one than deal with large groups... I found this and thought it was interesting... and kinda true... Thoughts?
10 Myths on Introverts...
Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.
Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.
Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.
Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.
Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.
Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.
Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.
Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.
Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.
Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers.
10 Myths on Introverts...
Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.
Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.
Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.
Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.
Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.
Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.
Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.
Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.
Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.
Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
2012
Welcome to 2012. Over the last few weeks, I've been reflecting on 2011. For me, it was a year of expenential growth and changes. Starting seminary, my niece being born, getting involved in a small group, friends moving 1/2 way across the world... just to name a few. I think that God really had His hand in my life last year. If you had asked me where I was going to be at that time in 2012, my answer would have been entirely different than life now. I would have said I would be in the education program with plans to teach overseas. Well, as you know, I am not in the Ed program. I am in my first year of seminary... becoming a children's pastor... and you know what? I don't regret saying 'yes' to God when He called me into ministry. These last few months have been a learning curve for me, but I have also learned some valuable lessons through that.
1. God is in control, not me - This was probiably one of the hardest lessons to learn (I am still learning this). I like to be in control of things, that way they get done properly and in a timely fashion. I like to always have a plan of what/where my life is headed. For years, that was what kept me motivated to study. I had a plan of where I wanted to end up. This past year, God has been teaching me that what I want is not always necessarily the best thing for me or His kingdom. The gifts and talents He has given me are better used where He wants me than where I wanted to be. Through different situations, God has been showing me that life is much better when He is in control instead of me... I am finding that there is much less stress when He is in control. God has also been teaching me to give up my dreams and desires so that I can serve Him. If you had asked me 5 years ago where I wanted to be when I was 23, I would have said graduated (with 2 degrees), teaching in a school, married and possibly having children already. I have only accomplished 1/4 on that list... I graduated University, there's a possibility of arguing the teaching one (I do teach preschool and tutor...) This last year has taught me that I don't need a plan for my life when God is in control. He leads me where He wants me to go and that will be far better than what I could have ever imagined! (It already is!!!)
2. I am stronger than I thought - life doesn't fall apart just because someone moves. I used to think that I really needed certain people around (you know who you are) to be comfortable and be there for me if something failed. God has taught me this year that He is enough for me. I don't need others around for me to be in my comfort zone... (this has slowly been increasing over the last year...) With God at my side, I am able to conquer anything... even when the anxiety sets in and my flight response kicks into full gear! (This is one God and I are still working on).
3. He is constant - No matter what is happening, God is always there. He never hides or stops pursuing me. I love that about God. I can often get so caught up in the here and now that I forget about spending quality time with God (notice the 'quality' there... just reading a few verses doesn't really count as 'quality'). No matter what I am going through, He is always there waiting for me to talk to Him about it. I may not always get an answer or a response that I want, but that doesn't mean that He doesn't care or wants to listen. He is always there. He stays the same no matter how much I change.
These are just some things that God has taught me this year. As we start the new year, we tend to make resolutions... I don't like resolutions. Most people don't keep them or they have no real purpose. This year, instead of making a resolution, I made a goal. A friend of mine did this last year, and I think it's an amazing thing. I started a Thankful List. Each day, I write in my thankful book something that I am thankful for... Something that God has shown me or has blessed me with that day. The idea behind the list is to remind myself that what I have been given is not of my doing... It's a gift from God. Each day is a gift that I can enjoy and serve.
Can I challenge you? What has God done in your life recently? What blessings (or unfortunate events) are you thankful for?
1. God is in control, not me - This was probiably one of the hardest lessons to learn (I am still learning this). I like to be in control of things, that way they get done properly and in a timely fashion. I like to always have a plan of what/where my life is headed. For years, that was what kept me motivated to study. I had a plan of where I wanted to end up. This past year, God has been teaching me that what I want is not always necessarily the best thing for me or His kingdom. The gifts and talents He has given me are better used where He wants me than where I wanted to be. Through different situations, God has been showing me that life is much better when He is in control instead of me... I am finding that there is much less stress when He is in control. God has also been teaching me to give up my dreams and desires so that I can serve Him. If you had asked me 5 years ago where I wanted to be when I was 23, I would have said graduated (with 2 degrees), teaching in a school, married and possibly having children already. I have only accomplished 1/4 on that list... I graduated University, there's a possibility of arguing the teaching one (I do teach preschool and tutor...) This last year has taught me that I don't need a plan for my life when God is in control. He leads me where He wants me to go and that will be far better than what I could have ever imagined! (It already is!!!)
2. I am stronger than I thought - life doesn't fall apart just because someone moves. I used to think that I really needed certain people around (you know who you are) to be comfortable and be there for me if something failed. God has taught me this year that He is enough for me. I don't need others around for me to be in my comfort zone... (this has slowly been increasing over the last year...) With God at my side, I am able to conquer anything... even when the anxiety sets in and my flight response kicks into full gear! (This is one God and I are still working on).
3. He is constant - No matter what is happening, God is always there. He never hides or stops pursuing me. I love that about God. I can often get so caught up in the here and now that I forget about spending quality time with God (notice the 'quality' there... just reading a few verses doesn't really count as 'quality'). No matter what I am going through, He is always there waiting for me to talk to Him about it. I may not always get an answer or a response that I want, but that doesn't mean that He doesn't care or wants to listen. He is always there. He stays the same no matter how much I change.
These are just some things that God has taught me this year. As we start the new year, we tend to make resolutions... I don't like resolutions. Most people don't keep them or they have no real purpose. This year, instead of making a resolution, I made a goal. A friend of mine did this last year, and I think it's an amazing thing. I started a Thankful List. Each day, I write in my thankful book something that I am thankful for... Something that God has shown me or has blessed me with that day. The idea behind the list is to remind myself that what I have been given is not of my doing... It's a gift from God. Each day is a gift that I can enjoy and serve.
Can I challenge you? What has God done in your life recently? What blessings (or unfortunate events) are you thankful for?
Monday, November 7, 2011
With Love and Strength for Each New Day
God will make a way - Don Moen
God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength
For each new day
He will make a way
He will make a way
By a roadway in the wilderness
He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
He will do something new today
Sometimes it's just all in the lyrics. I feel like this song represents where I've come from and where I'm going. God has been making my path for me all along when I never thought it possible. If you had asked me last year what my life would look like today.... I would have said I'd be in the education program, working part time, and helping with the children's ministry. I could not have even imagined that THIS is where I would be.
He holds me closely to His side and leads me where His path takes.
The bridge is especially true. Heaven and earth will fade... but His word will still remain. Isn't that an amazing promise? No matter what happens in our lives, we still have the assurance of Jesus.
He will do something new today. He always does, but the question is, do we see it? Do we notice what He has created for our pleasure? Clouds, sunshine, brisk air, falling leaves, beautiful fall colours, the frost in the morning, our warm breath meeting the cool air.... all His creation. Do we notice how beautiful these things are?
My challenge for you: Find the beauty in His creation... what has He made new today? It may be something we already know... but everyday things are new. His gift to us. Isn't God AMAZING?
God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength
For each new day
He will make a way
He will make a way
By a roadway in the wilderness
He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
He will do something new today
Sometimes it's just all in the lyrics. I feel like this song represents where I've come from and where I'm going. God has been making my path for me all along when I never thought it possible. If you had asked me last year what my life would look like today.... I would have said I'd be in the education program, working part time, and helping with the children's ministry. I could not have even imagined that THIS is where I would be.
He holds me closely to His side and leads me where His path takes.
The bridge is especially true. Heaven and earth will fade... but His word will still remain. Isn't that an amazing promise? No matter what happens in our lives, we still have the assurance of Jesus.
He will do something new today. He always does, but the question is, do we see it? Do we notice what He has created for our pleasure? Clouds, sunshine, brisk air, falling leaves, beautiful fall colours, the frost in the morning, our warm breath meeting the cool air.... all His creation. Do we notice how beautiful these things are?
My challenge for you: Find the beauty in His creation... what has He made new today? It may be something we already know... but everyday things are new. His gift to us. Isn't God AMAZING?
Monday, September 26, 2011
Just Like Moses.
I was teaching the grade 1/2 sunday school class this week, when God decided to remind me who He is and to confirm that what I am doing is His plan.
My lesson was on Moses and how he brought God's people out of Egypt. The part that got me was when Moses is talking to God before the burning bush. God has just finished telling Moses that He has heard His people and their cries for help. God had a mission for Moses. He wanted him to go to Egypt and tell Pharaoh to let His people go. This is what Moses had to say: "Why did you choose me? I can't do that kind of job. I'm not even very good at talking to ordinary people, much less to the king of Egypt!" God replied: I'll be with you; and you can have your brother Aaron's help."
Who would have thought that Moses was scared? It's generally not the part of the story we remember. I see myself through this encounter. I'm not going to speak to Pharoah, but I can relate to Moses' fears. I myself am not good with talking to people. God has called me into ministry, but I have feared that I can't do it. Then God does something like that and He brings my perspective around again. I have a tendency to focus on my failures and faults without looking to God for help or relying on Him. His plan is far greater than I could ever imagine. All I have to do is trust, something that I am still learning how to do. It's not something that comes easily for me. Just ask my friends. :)
The comfort I find in Moses story is that God was always with him, no matter how hard things got or how discouraging it looked. God was watching out for His children. That means He is watching out for me, no matter how bad things are looking or how scary things can get... He is there, right beside me the whole way. When God calls us to do something, He never leaves our side. Isn't that a comforting thought?
My lesson was on Moses and how he brought God's people out of Egypt. The part that got me was when Moses is talking to God before the burning bush. God has just finished telling Moses that He has heard His people and their cries for help. God had a mission for Moses. He wanted him to go to Egypt and tell Pharaoh to let His people go. This is what Moses had to say: "Why did you choose me? I can't do that kind of job. I'm not even very good at talking to ordinary people, much less to the king of Egypt!" God replied: I'll be with you; and you can have your brother Aaron's help."
Who would have thought that Moses was scared? It's generally not the part of the story we remember. I see myself through this encounter. I'm not going to speak to Pharoah, but I can relate to Moses' fears. I myself am not good with talking to people. God has called me into ministry, but I have feared that I can't do it. Then God does something like that and He brings my perspective around again. I have a tendency to focus on my failures and faults without looking to God for help or relying on Him. His plan is far greater than I could ever imagine. All I have to do is trust, something that I am still learning how to do. It's not something that comes easily for me. Just ask my friends. :)
The comfort I find in Moses story is that God was always with him, no matter how hard things got or how discouraging it looked. God was watching out for His children. That means He is watching out for me, no matter how bad things are looking or how scary things can get... He is there, right beside me the whole way. When God calls us to do something, He never leaves our side. Isn't that a comforting thought?
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