God is amazing. What can I say?
Our church has been on this sermon journey called "Killing a dream, raising a future." It's been the topic for the last while and God is really speaking to me through it.
A bit of context before I get to the good stuff. ;)
As I was growing up in my parents home and still in high school etc... I was always told that I would make an amazing teacher. I volunteered in the church and was highly involved in my school. So that is where I aimed my sights, as an elementary school teacher. I decided that I wanted to pursue music (I really was inspired by my music teachers) but after first year, I knew that music was not for me... at least not in a degree form. I don't regret the classes I took or the time spent on fine tuning my gifts and abilities in music. I love playing music... just not enough to make it my career. :) So I changed my plans once again. I decided to pursue a degree in History. How boring you might think... studying dead people and times that don't have any relevancy to our lives. I tend to disagree with that statement... but that's a topic for another day. :) I really enjoyed my time studying history and learning about the world in its entirety. I got to learn about other social groups and learn about people who helped shape our world into what it is today. When I graduated last year, I decided to take a year off and let my brain relax a bit before pursuing another degree in education. I also wanted to make sure that teaching was where I wanted to end up. Last summer, I toyed with the idea that I might take an online certificate in children's ministry and work in a church sometime... but I never did pursue it... I just kinda let is slide onto the back burner so to speak... :) It was always in the back of my mind... but I never really gave it much thought... until the pot started to boil over and it was all I could think of. What a way for God to get my attention.
So this year, I applied to the Ed program and surprise, surprise, I got my interview. I rocked that interview... or so at least I though so. I felt really good about getting in and with my experience, I had no doubt that I would make it. I was so sure of myself... I was getting ahead of God. So when the day came that I was going to hear about getting in... I was really excited. I kept waiting for my phone call... and none came. It was slightly wierd... but it being Kings... I gave them a few days thinking that they had a lot of people to call and maybe got buzy... When I called the school later the next week, they told me that they had delayed my application. I was supposed to receive a letter in the next couple of days that would explain further. I was shocked, angry, and furious. I didn't know what to do. I was angry at God for not letting me in... I mean, this is what I had planned for my entire life (or at least a really long time) where elese was I supposed to go... my plans were not working out for me. But that pot on the back of the burner kept on slowly boiling and making itself known once again. I started questioning God and saying "Fine. If you are closing this door (of being a teacher) then you better give me something else to do." I slowly started to realise (and maybe you have too... did you catch all the I's in the last part? :D) that going into Ed was MY plan. I never did really consult God on what HE wanted for my life.
So back to the present... The sermon series was part of God's way of softly telling me that He was killing my dreams of being a teacher and raising up a vision far better then what I could EVER imagine. As I am diving deeper into my Bible trying to find out where God is leading... He is showing me slowly. I don't think I'm ready for the huge picture God has in store for me... but piece by piece, I'm learning to trust that in God's timing, I will become what He wants me to be and how He wants me to serve Him. When I realised that God's plan was much bigger than my meager plans of becoming an elementary teacher... my life started to change. I started praying that God's will for my life be done and that He help me abandon my plans for his vision. I also started to ask that He show my His next step for my life. I flat out told him that I was not ready to see the whole picture for my life... but I was ready to take the next step. His will, not mine.
So, here it is... I guess my secret will now be out. I'm feeling God leading me into Ministry. Remember a bit up the page where I talk about the pot on the back of my stove? Well... I'm feeling God leading me into Children's ministry. So I'm going to try and get into Ambrose for the fall and see if I can take my first and maybe other years up here in Edmonton instead of going down to Calgary. I don't feel like God is taking me out of Edmonton just quite yet. There is still stuff going on here that I am apart of and where my ministry and passions currently lie. There, my big secret is out for the world to read. This is not for sure yet, but if this is where God is leading, then I am more than willing to follow His direction and see where it leads.
Remember the sermon title I was talking about? "Killing a dream and Raising a Future" Well, God speaks to me sometimes through the strangest things. But, isn't He amazing? :D
