Welcome to 2012. Over the last few weeks, I've been reflecting on 2011. For me, it was a year of expenential growth and changes. Starting seminary, my niece being born, getting involved in a small group, friends moving 1/2 way across the world... just to name a few. I think that God really had His hand in my life last year. If you had asked me where I was going to be at that time in 2012, my answer would have been entirely different than life now. I would have said I would be in the education program with plans to teach overseas. Well, as you know, I am not in the Ed program. I am in my first year of seminary... becoming a children's pastor... and you know what? I don't regret saying 'yes' to God when He called me into ministry. These last few months have been a learning curve for me, but I have also learned some valuable lessons through that.
1. God is in control, not me - This was probiably one of the hardest lessons to learn (I am still learning this). I like to be in control of things, that way they get done properly and in a timely fashion. I like to always have a plan of what/where my life is headed. For years, that was what kept me motivated to study. I had a plan of where I wanted to end up. This past year, God has been teaching me that what I want is not always necessarily the best thing for me or His kingdom. The gifts and talents He has given me are better used where He wants me than where I wanted to be. Through different situations, God has been showing me that life is much better when He is in control instead of me... I am finding that there is much less stress when He is in control. God has also been teaching me to give up my dreams and desires so that I can serve Him. If you had asked me 5 years ago where I wanted to be when I was 23, I would have said graduated (with 2 degrees), teaching in a school, married and possibly having children already. I have only accomplished 1/4 on that list... I graduated University, there's a possibility of arguing the teaching one (I do teach preschool and tutor...) This last year has taught me that I don't need a plan for my life when God is in control. He leads me where He wants me to go and that will be far better than what I could have ever imagined! (It already is!!!)
2. I am stronger than I thought - life doesn't fall apart just because someone moves. I used to think that I really needed certain people around (you know who you are) to be comfortable and be there for me if something failed. God has taught me this year that He is enough for me. I don't need others around for me to be in my comfort zone... (this has slowly been increasing over the last year...) With God at my side, I am able to conquer anything... even when the anxiety sets in and my flight response kicks into full gear! (This is one God and I are still working on).
3. He is constant - No matter what is happening, God is always there. He never hides or stops pursuing me. I love that about God. I can often get so caught up in the here and now that I forget about spending quality time with God (notice the 'quality' there... just reading a few verses doesn't really count as 'quality'). No matter what I am going through, He is always there waiting for me to talk to Him about it. I may not always get an answer or a response that I want, but that doesn't mean that He doesn't care or wants to listen. He is always there. He stays the same no matter how much I change.
These are just some things that God has taught me this year. As we start the new year, we tend to make resolutions... I don't like resolutions. Most people don't keep them or they have no real purpose. This year, instead of making a resolution, I made a goal. A friend of mine did this last year, and I think it's an amazing thing. I started a Thankful List. Each day, I write in my thankful book something that I am thankful for... Something that God has shown me or has blessed me with that day. The idea behind the list is to remind myself that what I have been given is not of my doing... It's a gift from God. Each day is a gift that I can enjoy and serve.
Can I challenge you? What has God done in your life recently? What blessings (or unfortunate events) are you thankful for?
