The more you learn about me, the more I feel that God is working.
If you don't know, I used to be a 'wallflower'. I would be so uncomfortable in large groups of people that I would sit in a corner (not talking to anyone) and people watch. Or worse. Not proud of it, but there have been a few instances where I have literally run in the opposite direction. I would get part way to an event (sometimes even make it through the doors), get scared/highly uncomfortable and run. There, I've said it. Still want to read? It's going to be a good one. :) Going back to my first sentence this post, the more you learn about me, the more I feel that God is working. God has definitely been pushing and shoving me out of my extremely small comfort zone this year. When I am in front of my kids (church/work kids) it's a different story... if you have ever seen me with them... you would understand. I love being with them. I can be as crazy as I want to be and when I do it for the kids... nothing else matters. I don't care what others think when it comes to the kids. My kids have called me crazy, nuts, etc... but they have fun and learn in the process.
When it comes to being around people my own age, it's a different story. I can probably give you a long and boring story about how I came to be this way... but I won't. It doesn't matter. The only part that does, is how God has been pushing and shoving me out of my comfort zone. I had tried going to GIFT a few times in the last few years, but was not brave enough to go out of my comfort zone. I really liked the bubble I had created for myself; my small group of friends at school, family, and a few people who worked in the children's ministry at church. I didn't really feel the need to break out of that bubble and get to know others. It was not until this past year that God really started to shove me out of my zone. He told me that this was going to be the year that I did it. With Him at my side, He was going to break open the bubble I had created. I started going to GIFT regularly and even joined the church choir. It was hard at first, and don't get me wrong, it still can be. I wanted to run often, more than people would ever realize. I told myself all I had to do was go a few times and then I would never have to go back, but I kept going. I found that with God at my side... I could handle anything. I'm still not perfect, but I'm a lot better at this social thing than I used to be. I no longer want to run away from Gift or other social engagements... but find that I now want to go! I have come to the realization that it was the Devil who put this fear into me and I missed out on so much by not going to functions. I would have missed out on having a lot of amazing people in my life. You may not know what kind of impact you have had on me and helping God burst my small bubble... but you have. Have I come full circle to be a social butterfly? No I have not, but neither am I the girl in the corner with a desire to run. God still has to shove me out of my comfort zone at times... but with each circumstance, it gets easier. I know that I will always have God at my side and with Him, all things are possible.
