Life

So, this past summer I accepted a job with one of the local churches in Calgary. I am the children's pastor there. Let me tell you, this has been one steep learning curve! But it has been absolutely worth it!

A few things that I have learned:
 - Don't think that you can do it all by yourself. I learned this the hard way. I had to ask for help eventually. But when I did, it made it that much more enjoyable and less stressful!
 - I will screw things up. I will mess things up so bad that I don't think I could ever recover from! But it gets better. There are people who will help get through it and help fix things.
 - If something is going to go wrong it will. These things do not only happen by themselves...There will be many things that go wrong.
 - The children will surprise you! There will be times that these kids just astonish you with what they learn and what they remember from week to week.
 - The children will steal your heart. I've been working with these kids since the summer now and they have captured my heart. They are so precious and even if they are having a bad day, they are still cute and precious!
 - The congregation will become a part of who I am. They will become part of what I do. They will be the ones that I want to minister to. They are the ones I want to serve.
 - I can't do anything without my volunteers! These people are amazing. They are willing to do anything that's needed above and beyond what's needed. These people are what makes my ministry go!
 - I can't do anything without God. He is the one that provides the energy, the stamina, and the excitement! There is no way that I could do what I do every week without God.

This Christmas is my first Christmas play with the kids. It has also been a learning curve. There are things that I will make sure that don't happen again. I need to be better prepared for it. But it is also rewarding. The kids have been working hard and it is coming together. We perform on Sunday and things are falling into place.

This job is also everything that I have ever dreamed I would have wanted in a career. It is my calling. It is my vocation. It is what I am supposed to be doing with my life. Have you ever had when something is so right that it is amazing? Well, that is what this is!

I LOVE being a Children's Pastor!

Family.

Family. What does that word even mean? I have blood-related people who I call family, and I have family friends who I would consider family. They may not be blood-related, but they are still a large part of my "family". I also have friends who have become family. What does this word mean to you?

I figured out today that my family has not been together for a holiday in almost 2 years. No Easters, no Thanksgivings, No Christmas', no Birthdays. The last holiday my family was all together at was my nieces first Christmas, and even then it included my sister-in-law's mother and sister. Times change, families grow, and live continues. It's a hard reality to grasp when everyone in your family is going/doing something for Christmas and you are left wondering "well, what about me?" (I might go into a rant here as I write, so forgive me, I need to share my heart with someone).

I miss my family. I miss spending time together as a family. We were together a few weeks ago to help my brother and his family move to Edmonton. There were lots of other people around to help them move so I got to spend some valuable time with my nieces, but then I had to leave and go back to my life. I had to go back to work and miss being with my family that much longer. This Christmas, they are all invited somewhere else for Christmas and I am left wondering what I am going to do. I work in a church. It is kind of expected of me to be there for Christmas. I came to the realization that this will be my first Christmas without any of my family. Last year, my sister-in-law was 9 months pregnant and it wasn't safe for them to travel. The year before that, we all traveled north to visit them in their home with her side of the family. It's not a bad thing to celebrate the wonderful holiday with extended family, but I miss my family. I miss it being just the 7 of us together. I don't know what a holiday looks like with just my family. I've never experienced it. Because of school (and now work) I can't always get away for the different holidays. It sucks. I miss my family.

It's also confusing because I am still single (not that I am complaining). I don't know if there will ever be someone else's family for me to visit. I don't know if there is the possibility of being in a relationship and starting my own traditions with my own family. I just don't know.

I was blessed to spend this weekend with friends. My birthday was on Saturday and I have an amazing set of friends who spent the day with me playing games and hanging out. It was amazing. I loved it. I was also privileged to be a part of their family dinner this afternoon/evening. We were able to hang out, eat some great food, and have a great time together. I had an amazing time hanging out with her family, but it's not the same as spending the time with my family. I have been privileged to spend the last Easter, Canada Day, and this Thanksgiving with this family who have sort of 'adopted' me into their family. I love it. I get to spend time with people that I love and who have just accepted me. But it makes me miss my family even more. It makes me miss the Thanksgivings, Easters, Christmas', Birthdays. It makes me miss seeing my nieces grow. It makes me miss being with my family celebrating the different holidays. It makes me wish for more.

I miss my family, but it also makes me thankful for those who have become a part of my 'family'.

Introverts.

So I just finished reading a book for one of my classes called Introverts in the Church: Finding our place in an Extroverted Culture. This book has done a lot of validating for my vocation and in who I am. There is so much in the book that I want to share but for now, I shall leave you with this quote: "When we pursue those things we love, we delight in God and his gifts. God has engrained in all of us particular passions, drives and interests, and in pursuing them with a Godward perspective, we engage in worship."
Think on that. What is worship? It's not only just singing songs and listening to a sermon. It is so much more than that!
If you are an introvert, then this is a book I highly reccomend!

All the way my Saviour leads me.

This song really speaks to me. It describes what's going on right now and how God is working in my life right now.

All the way my Saviour leads me - Chris Tomlin

All the way my Savior leads me
Who have I to ask beside
How could I doubt His tender mercy
Who through life has been my guide

All the way my Savior leads me
Cheers each winding path I tread
Gives me grace for every trial
Feeds me with the living bread

You lead me and keep me from falling
You carry me close to Your heart
And surely Your goodness
And mercy will follow me
All the way my Savior leads me

Oh, the fullness of His love
Oh, the sureness of His promise
In the triumph of His blood

And when my spirit clothed immortal
Wings its flight to realms of day
This my song through endless ages
Jesus led me all the way
Jesus led me all the way

You lead me and keep me from falling
You carry me close to Your heart
And surely Your goodness
And mercy will follow me
You lead me and keep me from falling
You carry me close to Your heart
And surely Your goodness
And mercy will follow me, will follow me

All the way my Savior leads me
All the way my Savior leads me