Family. What does that word even mean? I have blood-related people who I call family, and I have family friends who I would consider family. They may not be blood-related, but they are still a large part of my "family". I also have friends who have become family. What does this word mean to you?
I figured out today that my family has not been together for a holiday in almost 2 years. No Easters, no Thanksgivings, No Christmas', no Birthdays. The last holiday my family was all together at was my nieces first Christmas, and even then it included my sister-in-law's mother and sister. Times change, families grow, and live continues. It's a hard reality to grasp when everyone in your family is going/doing something for Christmas and you are left wondering "well, what about me?" (I might go into a rant here as I write, so forgive me, I need to share my heart with someone).
I miss my family. I miss spending time together as a family. We were together a few weeks ago to help my brother and his family move to Edmonton. There were lots of other people around to help them move so I got to spend some valuable time with my nieces, but then I had to leave and go back to my life. I had to go back to work and miss being with my family that much longer. This Christmas, they are all invited somewhere else for Christmas and I am left wondering what I am going to do. I work in a church. It is kind of expected of me to be there for Christmas. I came to the realization that this will be my first Christmas without any of my family. Last year, my sister-in-law was 9 months pregnant and it wasn't safe for them to travel. The year before that, we all traveled north to visit them in their home with her side of the family. It's not a bad thing to celebrate the wonderful holiday with extended family, but I miss my family. I miss it being just the 7 of us together. I don't know what a holiday looks like with just my family. I've never experienced it. Because of school (and now work) I can't always get away for the different holidays. It sucks. I miss my family.
It's also confusing because I am still single (not that I am complaining). I don't know if there will ever be someone else's family for me to visit. I don't know if there is the possibility of being in a relationship and starting my own traditions with my own family. I just don't know.
I was blessed to spend this weekend with friends. My birthday was on Saturday and I have an amazing set of friends who spent the day with me playing games and hanging out. It was amazing. I loved it. I was also privileged to be a part of their family dinner this afternoon/evening. We were able to hang out, eat some great food, and have a great time together. I had an amazing time hanging out with her family, but it's not the same as spending the time with my family. I have been privileged to spend the last Easter, Canada Day, and this Thanksgiving with this family who have sort of 'adopted' me into their family. I love it. I get to spend time with people that I love and who have just accepted me. But it makes me miss my family even more. It makes me miss the Thanksgivings, Easters, Christmas', Birthdays. It makes me miss seeing my nieces grow. It makes me miss being with my family celebrating the different holidays. It makes me wish for more.
I miss my family, but it also makes me thankful for those who have become a part of my 'family'.
