the past few weeks ive been hearing about other people and what their story is. by their story i mean what God has been teaching them and how he has changed their lives. last night at gift, our speaker told us her story. i dont think i could imagine going through what she had to, but through her story, i was challenged. ive been asked to share my story before, but i dont think ive shared it willingly before. maybe its time i do. who knows... maybe someone i know will benifit from hearing my story.
God has also been trying to teach me how to put myself out there and not be the 'wallflower' anymore. (this has been an on going lesson) ive always been the quiet girl in the corner. im often extremely uncomfortable in social settings, even when im with my friends. i can be uncomfortable to the degree that i fidgit and get really uncomfortable and want to run away in the opposite direction. (im different when im in front of a group of kids than with my own peers). i dont know why i get the urge to run away... but i do. i made a decision this year that i would try to be committed to Gift. going almost weekly and just try to get myself out of my comfort zone. as im slowly getting to know people it gets scary. what if they dont like me? how do i make new friends when i have not a whole lot in common with them? the best way to put it is that i get scared. this fear that i get when i am forced (not always unwillingly, sometimes i force myself) to go out of my comfort zone has stopped me from doing things i really wanted to do. i have been hurt by putting myself out there more often then not. its been a hard lesson to learn... and i still struggle with it. its something i (through God) and trying to change. its not something that is going to change overnight. but maybe one day i wont have this fear of putting myself out there. i was reminded yesterday that i am a daughter to my heavenly father. he wraps his arms around me to comfort me and sometimes i feel his arms around me, comforting me. he cries when i cry. my pain is his pain.
my story might just one day help others. if only i take a step of faith and trust God to care for me when i put myself out there.
