Life Update!

   I wrote back in September about all the changes in my life that were coming up. It's been almost 8 months since my last posting and I can't believe how much has happened. I started September with only 4 classes left of my Masters degree. I am sitting in the Seminary Commons right now with 2 three hour classes left of this degree. I can't believe how fast this year has gone and that in less than 4 weeks I graduate! It's INSANE!
   Let's catch you up. My job has been going well. I have been there almost 2 years now and I love being with those children and families. I am leaving the church though and am excited to see where God is leading. I have learned a lot these last months that is and has prepared me for my future ministry placement. I have learned how to deal with different situations regarding parents, volunteers, and children. I have gone through some major life lessons and God has been faithful in providing all that I need. He has given me people in my life where I am free and able to talk through things with and people who have continued to support me in all aspects. I am extremely thankful for those who provide a listening ear and sound advice and encouragement.
   Back in February, I went through the licensing process with the Christian and Missionary Alliance denomination. I passed! So I am officially a licensed worker with the C&MA. I never imagined that this is where God would take me. I knew when I started this schooling process that I would eventually go through it, but it never really sunk it how much it would matter to me and how much I want this. I am incredibly thankful that God has led me through this and that He continues to guide and teach me everyday. I wouldn't be anywhere without that guidance. I can't imagine anything different for my life. I wouldn't want anything else.
   As I'm writing this, I am listening to "Easter" music. Have you ever had days where you are so overcome by how much you are loved? Today is one of those days. I am feeling so loved by God and all the blessings He has given me. Easter always does that to me. (So does Christmas, but I'll save that post for another time.) There are someday's that I can't comprehend the love that God has for me. I can't believe that He would willingly die on the cross for my sins. Not only for me, but for everyone. I get so emotional when I think of the sacrifice that Jesus gave for us.
   It's during this time that I am counting all the blessings in my life. In a few weeks I graduate. I am leaving this place that has been a significant part of my life the last 4 years. It's an incredibly sad thing, but also exciting as I get to head off into full-time ministry. Ambrose has been a large part of this process. I have walked these halls and studied in these classrooms. I have spent time learning and laughing. I have made life-long friends and connections who encourage and teach me. These people have been integral to my growing process and in being a part of my life. I call these people my friends, but some of them are so much more than that. We have shared life and have come together despite our different backgrounds and histories. These people have been such a large part of my own personal growth process that I am struggling with leaving this place. I know that they will always be there for me and that they will always be a part of my life, but it's still hard. We are connected to this place. While it's hard to even think of graduation, I wouldn't change anything. I have been here these 4 years for a purpose. The people who have walked alongside of me through this are amazing. The experiences I have experienced have encouraged and strengthened me. I am forever grateful that I have had the privilege of studying under some amazing professors who have encouraged and stretched my thinking and understanding of Scripture and God. It hasn't always been easy, but was it worth it? Absolutely. And I wouldn't change anything!

Changes...

Wow... It's already the end of September. In just a few weeks I turn 26. While I was fine with turning 25... it's scary turning 26 as I am officially closer to 30... and I am almost out of my mid-20's. Life is changing and fast. I often am amazed at how fast life is going, and then realize that I am still young. I am in awe of how much I have accomplished in my life.

This year is a year of changes. I graduate this coming April, with a Masters degree. AIYA!!! I can't believe it! 4 years is a long time. That's how long I've been at it. I will be graduating this year with my Masters degree. God has been so faithful during this time, providing for my every need and providing more than I could ever need in order for me to be able to work and do school. These last 4 years of school have been fantastic. I have learned so much and have a continued desire to continue my education after I graduate. Maybe a class or 2 each year depending on what's being offered and what I want to help my supplement my teachings. As a children's pastor, I believe that it is important for me to continue my education in order to challenge my students.

This is also the year that I am going for accreditation with the Christian & Missionary Alliance denomination. That's scary. It means that I can dedicate/marry/bury. It means that my calling is continuously being fulfilled. God is continuing His promises. My calling is continuously being fulfilled. It's a scary process.

This year will be full of changes and challenges. Licensing is scary enough, but I also have to continuously seek after what is next. My contract with my church is finished in May and this is the time that I am asking what's next. Have I ever mentioned that I'm not a fan of waiting... But that is what I am asked to do at this point. I have to wait for the answer.

Changes. What can I say? Changes. The next 8 months are going to be interesting. I can't wait to see what God does!

What?!? I'm an adult?!?

   Seriously! When did I become an adult? It's like I looked up and BAM I'm an adult. Most days I go around doing what I do, but there are instances where I start to feel older and have "adult" moments. For instance, I filled out a survey the other day and had to enter the age category. It was a weird feeling when I found out that I am in a different category now. I was expecting that feeling at 26, not at 25. There was an 18-24 category and the 25-36 category... That felt weird. There was a moment of panic when I realized that I was no longer associated in that category. I was like "oh no! I can't be that old yet!" It was CRAZY!
   Also, there have been moments in this past year that have helped aid this. I hired a summer intern. For many years, that was my role... now I am on the other side of this... I hired a summer intern... It's crazy! It's starting to hit home that I am no longer young... but that I am an adult, in my mid-20's finishing up a Masters degree, earlier bed times, and doing adult things. It's like there was this switch, and I don't know when it happened...
  Life is crazy eh?

Life

So, this past summer I accepted a job with one of the local churches in Calgary. I am the children's pastor there. Let me tell you, this has been one steep learning curve! But it has been absolutely worth it!

A few things that I have learned:
 - Don't think that you can do it all by yourself. I learned this the hard way. I had to ask for help eventually. But when I did, it made it that much more enjoyable and less stressful!
 - I will screw things up. I will mess things up so bad that I don't think I could ever recover from! But it gets better. There are people who will help get through it and help fix things.
 - If something is going to go wrong it will. These things do not only happen by themselves...There will be many things that go wrong.
 - The children will surprise you! There will be times that these kids just astonish you with what they learn and what they remember from week to week.
 - The children will steal your heart. I've been working with these kids since the summer now and they have captured my heart. They are so precious and even if they are having a bad day, they are still cute and precious!
 - The congregation will become a part of who I am. They will become part of what I do. They will be the ones that I want to minister to. They are the ones I want to serve.
 - I can't do anything without my volunteers! These people are amazing. They are willing to do anything that's needed above and beyond what's needed. These people are what makes my ministry go!
 - I can't do anything without God. He is the one that provides the energy, the stamina, and the excitement! There is no way that I could do what I do every week without God.

This Christmas is my first Christmas play with the kids. It has also been a learning curve. There are things that I will make sure that don't happen again. I need to be better prepared for it. But it is also rewarding. The kids have been working hard and it is coming together. We perform on Sunday and things are falling into place.

This job is also everything that I have ever dreamed I would have wanted in a career. It is my calling. It is my vocation. It is what I am supposed to be doing with my life. Have you ever had when something is so right that it is amazing? Well, that is what this is!

I LOVE being a Children's Pastor!

Family.

Family. What does that word even mean? I have blood-related people who I call family, and I have family friends who I would consider family. They may not be blood-related, but they are still a large part of my "family". I also have friends who have become family. What does this word mean to you?

I figured out today that my family has not been together for a holiday in almost 2 years. No Easters, no Thanksgivings, No Christmas', no Birthdays. The last holiday my family was all together at was my nieces first Christmas, and even then it included my sister-in-law's mother and sister. Times change, families grow, and live continues. It's a hard reality to grasp when everyone in your family is going/doing something for Christmas and you are left wondering "well, what about me?" (I might go into a rant here as I write, so forgive me, I need to share my heart with someone).

I miss my family. I miss spending time together as a family. We were together a few weeks ago to help my brother and his family move to Edmonton. There were lots of other people around to help them move so I got to spend some valuable time with my nieces, but then I had to leave and go back to my life. I had to go back to work and miss being with my family that much longer. This Christmas, they are all invited somewhere else for Christmas and I am left wondering what I am going to do. I work in a church. It is kind of expected of me to be there for Christmas. I came to the realization that this will be my first Christmas without any of my family. Last year, my sister-in-law was 9 months pregnant and it wasn't safe for them to travel. The year before that, we all traveled north to visit them in their home with her side of the family. It's not a bad thing to celebrate the wonderful holiday with extended family, but I miss my family. I miss it being just the 7 of us together. I don't know what a holiday looks like with just my family. I've never experienced it. Because of school (and now work) I can't always get away for the different holidays. It sucks. I miss my family.

It's also confusing because I am still single (not that I am complaining). I don't know if there will ever be someone else's family for me to visit. I don't know if there is the possibility of being in a relationship and starting my own traditions with my own family. I just don't know.

I was blessed to spend this weekend with friends. My birthday was on Saturday and I have an amazing set of friends who spent the day with me playing games and hanging out. It was amazing. I loved it. I was also privileged to be a part of their family dinner this afternoon/evening. We were able to hang out, eat some great food, and have a great time together. I had an amazing time hanging out with her family, but it's not the same as spending the time with my family. I have been privileged to spend the last Easter, Canada Day, and this Thanksgiving with this family who have sort of 'adopted' me into their family. I love it. I get to spend time with people that I love and who have just accepted me. But it makes me miss my family even more. It makes me miss the Thanksgivings, Easters, Christmas', Birthdays. It makes me miss seeing my nieces grow. It makes me miss being with my family celebrating the different holidays. It makes me wish for more.

I miss my family, but it also makes me thankful for those who have become a part of my 'family'.

Introverts.

So I just finished reading a book for one of my classes called Introverts in the Church: Finding our place in an Extroverted Culture. This book has done a lot of validating for my vocation and in who I am. There is so much in the book that I want to share but for now, I shall leave you with this quote: "When we pursue those things we love, we delight in God and his gifts. God has engrained in all of us particular passions, drives and interests, and in pursuing them with a Godward perspective, we engage in worship."
Think on that. What is worship? It's not only just singing songs and listening to a sermon. It is so much more than that!
If you are an introvert, then this is a book I highly reccomend!

All the way my Saviour leads me.

This song really speaks to me. It describes what's going on right now and how God is working in my life right now.

All the way my Saviour leads me - Chris Tomlin

All the way my Savior leads me
Who have I to ask beside
How could I doubt His tender mercy
Who through life has been my guide

All the way my Savior leads me
Cheers each winding path I tread
Gives me grace for every trial
Feeds me with the living bread

You lead me and keep me from falling
You carry me close to Your heart
And surely Your goodness
And mercy will follow me
All the way my Savior leads me

Oh, the fullness of His love
Oh, the sureness of His promise
In the triumph of His blood

And when my spirit clothed immortal
Wings its flight to realms of day
This my song through endless ages
Jesus led me all the way
Jesus led me all the way

You lead me and keep me from falling
You carry me close to Your heart
And surely Your goodness
And mercy will follow me
You lead me and keep me from falling
You carry me close to Your heart
And surely Your goodness
And mercy will follow me, will follow me

All the way my Savior leads me
All the way my Savior leads me