2012

Welcome to 2012. Over the last few weeks, I've been reflecting on 2011. For me, it was a year of expenential growth and changes. Starting seminary, my niece being born, getting involved in a small group, friends moving 1/2 way across the world... just to name a few. I think that God really had His hand in my life last year. If you had asked me where I was going to be at that time in 2012, my answer would have been entirely different than life now. I would have said I would be in the education program with plans to teach overseas. Well, as you know, I am not in the Ed program. I am in my first year of seminary... becoming a children's pastor... and you know what? I don't regret saying 'yes' to God when He called me into ministry. These last few months have been a learning curve for me, but I have also learned some valuable lessons through that.

1. God is in control, not me - This was probiably one of the hardest lessons to learn (I am still learning this). I like to be in control of things, that way they get done properly and in a timely fashion. I like to always have a plan of what/where my life is headed. For years, that was what kept me motivated to study. I had a plan of where I wanted to end up. This past year, God has been teaching me that what I want is not always necessarily the best thing for me or His kingdom. The gifts and talents He has given me are better used where He wants me than where I wanted to be. Through different situations, God has been showing me that life is much better when He is in control instead of me... I am finding that there is much less stress when He is in control. God has also been teaching me to give up my dreams and desires so that I can serve Him. If you had asked me 5 years ago where I wanted to be when I was 23, I would have said graduated (with 2 degrees), teaching in a school, married and possibly having children already. I have only accomplished 1/4 on that list... I graduated University, there's a possibility of arguing the teaching one (I do teach preschool and tutor...) This last year has taught me that I don't need a plan for my life when God is in control. He leads me where He wants me to go and that will be far better than what I could have ever imagined! (It already is!!!)
2. I am stronger than I thought - life doesn't fall apart just because someone moves. I used to think that I really needed certain people around (you know who you are) to be comfortable and be there for me if something failed. God has taught me this year that He is enough for me. I don't need others around for me to be in my comfort zone... (this has slowly been increasing over the last year...) With God at my side, I am able to conquer anything... even when the anxiety sets in and my flight response kicks into full gear! (This is one God and I are still working on).
3. He is constant - No matter what is happening, God is always there. He never hides or stops pursuing me. I love that about God. I can often get so caught up in the here and now that I forget about spending quality time with God (notice the 'quality' there... just reading a few verses doesn't really count as 'quality'). No matter what I am going through, He is always there waiting for me to talk to Him about it. I may not always get an answer or a response that I want, but that doesn't mean that He doesn't care or wants to listen. He is always there. He stays the same no matter how much I change.

These are just some things that God has taught me this year. As we start the new year, we tend to make resolutions... I don't like resolutions. Most people don't keep them or they have no real purpose. This year, instead of making a resolution, I made a goal. A friend of mine did this last year, and I think it's an amazing thing. I started a Thankful List. Each day, I write in my thankful book something that I am thankful for... Something that God has shown me or has blessed me with that day. The idea behind the list is to remind myself that what I have been given is not of my doing... It's a gift from God. Each day is a gift that I can enjoy and serve.
Can I challenge you? What has God done in your life recently? What blessings (or unfortunate events) are you thankful for?

With Love and Strength for Each New Day

God will make a way - Don Moen

God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me

He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength
For each new day
He will make a way
He will make a way

By a roadway in the wilderness
He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
He will do something new today


Sometimes it's just all in the lyrics. I feel like this song represents where I've come from and where I'm going. God has been making my path for me all along when I never thought it possible. If you had asked me last year what my life would look like today.... I would have said I'd be in the education program, working part time, and helping with the children's ministry. I could not have even imagined that THIS is where I would be.
He holds me closely to His side and leads me where His path takes.
The bridge is especially true. Heaven and earth will fade... but His word will still remain. Isn't that an amazing promise? No matter what happens in our lives, we still have the assurance of Jesus.

He will do something new today. He always does, but the question is, do we see it? Do we notice what He has created for our pleasure? Clouds, sunshine, brisk air, falling leaves, beautiful fall colours, the frost in the morning, our warm breath meeting the cool air.... all His creation. Do we notice how beautiful these things are?

My challenge for you: Find the beauty in His creation... what has He made new today? It may be something we already know... but everyday things are new. His gift to us. Isn't God AMAZING?

Just Like Moses.

I was teaching the grade 1/2 sunday school class this week, when God decided to remind me who He is and to confirm that what I am doing is His plan.
My lesson was on Moses and how he brought God's people out of Egypt. The part that got me was when Moses is talking to God before the burning bush. God has just finished telling Moses that He has heard His people and their cries for help. God had a mission for Moses. He wanted him to go to Egypt and tell Pharaoh to let His people go. This is what Moses had to say: "Why did you choose me? I can't do that kind of job. I'm not even very good at talking to ordinary people, much less to the king of Egypt!" God replied: I'll be with you; and you can have your brother Aaron's help."
Who would have thought that Moses was scared? It's generally not the part of the story we remember. I see myself through this encounter. I'm not going to speak to Pharoah, but I can relate to Moses' fears. I myself am not good with talking to people. God has called me into ministry, but I have feared that I can't do it. Then God does something like that and He brings my perspective around again. I have a tendency to focus on my failures and faults without looking to God for help or relying on Him. His plan is far greater than I could ever imagine. All I have to do is trust, something that I am still learning how to do. It's not something that comes easily for me. Just ask my friends. :)
The comfort I find in Moses story is that God was always with him, no matter how hard things got or how discouraging it looked. God was watching out for His children. That means He is watching out for me, no matter how bad things are looking or how scary things can get... He is there, right beside me the whole way. When God calls us to do something, He never leaves our side. Isn't that a comforting thought?

I started reading the Boundless online articles a while ago... Here is one that I found interesting.

www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001196.cfm

Sometimes I wonder if you really care to listen to the people around you? Do you care enough to stop and make sure they really are 'alright' like they claim to be?

When God writes your love story

I started reading Eric & Leslie Ludy's book titled "When God writes your love story" a while back. It was recommended to me by a friend... and in return... I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone. The following is my reaction and thoughts to it. It helped me strengthen my choice not to date until God told me that it was time and showed me who I am supposed to be with.

Here is my reaction and thoughts to the book.

"How much am I willing to trust you God? I gave youmy future, can I surrender my love life too? Can I trust you with that God?

Think of each and every life as a boat, there are many rooms in every boat and they each have a locked door... we possess the keys, but when we surrender our lives to God, we give up the keys. When we crash into the living God, the encounter is certain to renovate every square inch on our life's boat. That's a scary thought. It's easy to give up most rooms at the begining... but as we grow deeper in our relationship with God, He wants more and more of our keys... until he has them all. Are there rooms in which you have not given up control? I know I have them. It's hard giving up control when I have taken control so often. I gave Him my future... but could I trust Him with my love life? Getting closer to God made me realise that I needed to give full control over to God. So I did it. I gave God the keys... If He wants me to date.... then I shall... If He has singleness destined for me... then I am going to have to get used to that. It scares me that He mght want me to be single... I've dreamed of having a family of my own for so long that it was hard to give that dream to God... and even now, I still have this urge to take it back... but giving up control has given me a freedom to embrace myself and to follow what God has planned for my life.

"If God's plan and purpose for you is marriage, then the person you will one day marry is alive and wandering the earth" (p. 73)

Such an interesting thought. Keeping that thought in mind, it makes me wonder if God has marriage in my future. Am I keeping myself pure for him? Is he doing the same for me?

When (or if) i start dating, I am kind of old fashion. I don't want to date just anyone... I don't want to just date for the sake of dating. I don't want a string of guys in my past... The only guy i ever want to date is my future husband. How cool would it be if I was able to give my first kiss to my husband... actually all of my firsts... I think that would make him feel honoured. "As women, we are designed to give ourselves completely-emotionally and physical-to one man. And we have a deep need to be loved and cherished for a lifetime by the man to whom we give that gift."

"Far more important than what our future spouce thinks or is feels is what our King thinks and feels. Does He feel sorrowful as He watches our lives? Or does He feel honoured and adored by the way we are living?"

Proverbs 31, enough said.

"If God is preparing you to make an impact on this world for His kingdom, chances are He will take you through a season of solitude. This is a season when you learn that you can't lean upon anyone but Him for your confidence and when you gain the strength to stand alone even when no one else stands with you."

This hit hard. I'm not opposed to being single, but the last part really struck ground. It's in this season that I learn that I can't lean on anyone but Him. With what's going on in this season, I have had a large learning curve. My comfort zone has been taken away, close friends are half-way around the world, and I'm following God into ministry. I'm still learning to rely on God for all things, especially the loneliness... but I'm learning.

"Words of respect transform mere men inot superheroes. So whether it is sqeezing his muscles, showing interest in his rock collection, or calling him your hero, a dash of tenderness in the way you treat a man means the difference between being married to a gentle-man or a gingerbread-man. One is heroic and tender; the other is stale and cut out of the same mold as the rest of them."

The book takes a turn and talks about the role of parents in a relationship. They should be honoured in the relationship. Our parents know us the best and when it comes to us starting relationships, they have vital information about us. They can teach our future spouces how to love us and romance us. My relationship with my father is key. I respect my father enough to get his opinion on whomever God brings into my life.

Let me leave you with this quote: "Our love-hungry generation is desperately searching for the 'beautiful side of love.' But it is not found in either having sex or abstaining from sex. The 'sweeter song' is Jesus, in all His fullness, all His love, all His beauty, all His grace, and all His Majesty."

I reccomend that you read the book. 'When God writes your love story" by Eric & Leslie Ludy

Wallflower to Social Butterfly?

The more you learn about me, the more I feel that God is working.

If you don't know, I used to be a 'wallflower'. I would be so uncomfortable in large groups of people that I would sit in a corner (not talking to anyone) and people watch. Or worse. Not proud of it, but there have been a few instances where I have literally run in the opposite direction. I would get part way to an event (sometimes even make it through the doors), get scared/highly uncomfortable and run. There, I've said it. Still want to read? It's going to be a good one. :) Going back to my first sentence this post, the more you learn about me, the more I feel that God is working. God has definitely been pushing and shoving me out of my extremely small comfort zone this year. When I am in front of my kids (church/work kids) it's a different story... if you have ever seen me with them... you would understand. I love being with them. I can be as crazy as I want to be and when I do it for the kids... nothing else matters. I don't care what others think when it comes to the kids. My kids have called me crazy, nuts, etc... but they have fun and learn in the process.
When it comes to being around people my own age, it's a different story. I can probably give you a long and boring story about how I came to be this way... but I won't. It doesn't matter. The only part that does, is how God has been pushing and shoving me out of my comfort zone. I had tried going to GIFT a few times in the last few years, but was not brave enough to go out of my comfort zone. I really liked the bubble I had created for myself; my small group of friends at school, family, and a few people who worked in the children's ministry at church. I didn't really feel the need to break out of that bubble and get to know others. It was not until this past year that God really started to shove me out of my zone. He told me that this was going to be the year that I did it. With Him at my side, He was going to break open the bubble I had created. I started going to GIFT regularly and even joined the church choir. It was hard at first, and don't get me wrong, it still can be. I wanted to run often, more than people would ever realize. I told myself all I had to do was go a few times and then I would never have to go back, but I kept going. I found that with God at my side... I could handle anything. I'm still not perfect, but I'm a lot better at this social thing than I used to be. I no longer want to run away from Gift or other social engagements... but find that I now want to go! I have come to the realization that it was the Devil who put this fear into me and I missed out on so much by not going to functions. I would have missed out on having a lot of amazing people in my life. You may not know what kind of impact you have had on me and helping God burst my small bubble... but you have. Have I come full circle to be a social butterfly? No I have not, but neither am I the girl in the corner with a desire to run. God still has to shove me out of my comfort zone at times... but with each circumstance, it gets easier. I know that I will always have God at my side and with Him, all things are possible.