So if you know me, you know that I love to read. While I do have the Kindle app on my phone, I prefer an actual physical book. There is just something about holding it in your hands and being immersed into the world it creates in your mind. Being able to escape into the world the author has created - I love it! Don't get me wrong, I do read books other than fiction - it's what this post is actually going to be about.
I just finished 2 very different books. One related to my world of ministry, and one related to church health. These books were very different and my reaction to each book was drastically different.
Let's start with the church health one. It was given to me to read last year, and it took me a while to find the time to actually read it with everything else I wanted to read. I finally had time just after Christmas this year. The author of this book is from a different church denomination than the one I am in. While reading his book, I could more or less agree with the principles he was describing on evaluating church health. I may not stand the same as him on every point he wrote, but I can understand and mostly agree. It's the last chapter that I really had trouble with. My first reaction was hate and hurt. How could he be saying things like that, and how could this book be given to me? While I am still not a fan of this book, I've had some time to "cool-off" my reaction. It's not a book I would easily recommend others to read (hence why I'm not naming the book or author here), but as I've had time to reflect and think about it, I've learned and realised a few things. First, while I don't agree with everything this author states in his book, I've been learning how to appreciate the other opinion side than where I stand. It becomes hard when it almost feels like it's an "attack" against my position, but I've been learning that's it's not about me personally. It's a belief system that has 2 sides to it. While I definitely don't agree with the extremes of this belief system, I can appreciate that they are both there. It doesn't make either of us wrong, but human. Second, I've come to appreciate it because it gives me a glimpse into the other side of this debate. I have to write a paper next year for my ordination and this book actually may be one or my references. I really dislike books like this that are of one mindset - ones that have no regard for the other side of things. In the case of this book, it's denomination-specific (there are hundreds of different denominations with varying ideas on this subject), and in some aspect church specific to his specific church. It really annoys me when authors are that close-minded and don't acknowledge the other side of a debate. I know he's writing on a particular side of this debate, but still. Maybe it's just the topic, but I'm still not a fan of this book. Lastly, it makes me grateful that I am in a denomination that accepts me. One that acknowledges both sides of this debate and gives grace to both sides. That's all I'm going to say about that book. If you want to talk to me more about it, we can do it in person.
The second book I just finished is one that is changing how I think about and do ministry. Doug Fields "Your First Two Years in Youth Ministry." If you could see my copy of this book, there are sticky notes and sticky tabs everywhere. I've underlined and starred a lot of this book, it's that good! I don't remember where I first saw this book, but I am so grateful that I picked it up! It's about knowing where to start and how to start. Fields talks about connecting with parents, relating to students, dealing with difficult people and volunteers. How to connect with your leaders and your leadership - both above and below you. How to navigate change and knowing the phases that come with change.
I am newer to Youth Ministry. If you've read my blog before, you will have read some of my story. While I had some experience with youth ministry, this is my first position as a youth pastor (and the children's pastor!). It's a complicated role to navigate at times and knowing how and when to do things. Don't get me wrong, I love what I get to do. I love being able to minister to and work with children and youth, but it's a different path to navigate. That's why I am very grateful I picked up this book! I am excited to be able to put some of his principles in to place and to learn how to be a better youth pastor to my youth and for our church. There is a ton of practical advice for newer (or new to) youth pastors. It's not only going to help me survive being a youth pastor, but also to thrive in my role. It's a book that not only is going to help me now as I'm just in my second year as a youth pastor, but as I continue to serve in this role. This book is going to be something I continually look at and use.
I love books like this! When you find an awesome book that encourages and lifts you up it's a book to hang on to! If you are new to Youth Ministry (or know someone who is) I highly recommend this book!
Friday, January 6, 2017
Friday, March 4, 2016
Good Good Father
It's probably not what you think... It's a song title. I was at a network meeting this week and this was one of the songs that we sang. In light of everything that has happened over the last months this song hits home. It goes like this:
Good Good Father - Chris Tomlin
Oh, I've heard a thousand stories of what they think you're like
But I've heard the tender whisper of love in the dead of night
And you tell me that you're pleased
And that I'm never alone
You're a Good, Good Father
It's who you are, it's who you are, it's who you are
And I'm loved by you
It's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am
Oh, and I've seen many searching for answers far and wide
But I know we're all searching
For answers only you provide
Cause you know just what we need
Before we say a word
Cause you are perfect in all of your ways
You are perfect in all of your ways
You are perfect in all of your ways to us
Oh, it's love so undeniable
I, I can hardly speak
Peace so unexplainable
I, I can hardly think
As you call me deeper still [x3]
Into love, love, love
If you don't know, my family was rocked hard these last 2 months. 2 months ago, my Oma passed away. Exactly 4 weeks later, my Opa passed as well. While their passing is hard, and it will be for a while, I find comfort knowing that they are both free of pain and suffering and worshipping at the feet of Jesus. While it's still hard knowing that they are gone, there is peace that comforts me. Peace in knowing that they are with their Savior and that I will one day see them again. My family is dealing with this in many different ways. Some are searching for answers that they may never get, others are finding answers in the only place they come from.
One thing I have come to know over these last 2 months is that God is never far from where I need Him. He has provided friends who comfort, and a church family that truly cares. He is there when I am so overcome with emotion and crying my eyes out. He is there in the memories - reminding me of how much I was loved and how much their faith has been passed down through the generations. He is there giving me peace when I can't fathom that they are gone. He is there in the hope - in me knowing that this isn't the end and that there is so much more to come after we die. Death isn't the end. There is still eternity with Jesus to come for those who accept Him and the life He gives.
Good Good Father - Chris Tomlin
Oh, I've heard a thousand stories of what they think you're like
But I've heard the tender whisper of love in the dead of night
And you tell me that you're pleased
And that I'm never alone
You're a Good, Good Father
It's who you are, it's who you are, it's who you are
And I'm loved by you
It's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am
Oh, and I've seen many searching for answers far and wide
But I know we're all searching
For answers only you provide
Cause you know just what we need
Before we say a word
Cause you are perfect in all of your ways
You are perfect in all of your ways
You are perfect in all of your ways to us
Oh, it's love so undeniable
I, I can hardly speak
Peace so unexplainable
I, I can hardly think
As you call me deeper still [x3]
Into love, love, love
If you don't know, my family was rocked hard these last 2 months. 2 months ago, my Oma passed away. Exactly 4 weeks later, my Opa passed as well. While their passing is hard, and it will be for a while, I find comfort knowing that they are both free of pain and suffering and worshipping at the feet of Jesus. While it's still hard knowing that they are gone, there is peace that comforts me. Peace in knowing that they are with their Savior and that I will one day see them again. My family is dealing with this in many different ways. Some are searching for answers that they may never get, others are finding answers in the only place they come from.
One thing I have come to know over these last 2 months is that God is never far from where I need Him. He has provided friends who comfort, and a church family that truly cares. He is there when I am so overcome with emotion and crying my eyes out. He is there in the memories - reminding me of how much I was loved and how much their faith has been passed down through the generations. He is there giving me peace when I can't fathom that they are gone. He is there in the hope - in me knowing that this isn't the end and that there is so much more to come after we die. Death isn't the end. There is still eternity with Jesus to come for those who accept Him and the life He gives.
Wednesday, February 10, 2016
Welcome to 2016
So life has changed a lot since I last updated my blog. My last post was about my graduation and my grad trip! A lot has happened since then... so I might have more than 1 update for you (and it might be a long one...)!
Let's travel through the Summer months...
May was all about graduation and job hunting... I had been in a few conversations with some churches and while some of them didn't really pan out.. a few looked promising. But mostly I worked and kept looking for jobs. May was also the month that my grandfather passed away. It was weird going to his funeral, but my nieces made up for it. We were at the grave site saying our final goodbyes after he had been lowered into the grave. My soon-to-be 4 year old niece looked into the hole and said "Good-bye Great Grandpa! Have fun in Heaven!" Only from the mouth of a child! But truer words there wasn't.
June brought some more interviews and resumes sent out. At this point it was starting to feel like I was never going to find a job. The church I had been working at had graciously extended my contract until the end of the summer so I wasn't too worried about a job for the summer... but knew I had to find where God wanted me. I had an interview with a small church in Northern Saskatchewan and it looked promising! It was almost what I wanted... but I figured it didn't hurt to move forward with them.
June was also the month that my bestie left for a summer at camp... We had been housemates for over a year at that point and we loved living together! It was going to be an interesting summer!
July marked my candidating! If you don't know what that is, it means that I travel to a church and see what it would be like at the church there... for me it also meant sharing about my life and connecting with the youth and families of that church. I drove to this small town in Saskatchewan for a weekend and left feeling positive. It also felt like God was asking me if I truly trusted Him and His plan for my life. At that point, I said yes, but believing that I was going to end up at this church. I got a call about a week later saying that they felt that God wasn't bringing our paths together. Honestly, I think I was expecting that. It was the conversation with God on my home the previous week that gave me the feeling. I wasn't over-joyed at that point, but kept trusting that God would bring me where He wanted me.
I have to say that at this point, I had already been talking with a church that was looking for a Children's Pastor (also in Saskatchewan - but not so small of a town). There was also a church that I had looked at but while I was interested in the position, I really didn't want to be in another Chinese church or so far from my family - so I dismissed it from my mind. I was, in essence, telling God that I would go where He placed me with conditions... not always a good thing to do... but more on that in a bit!
Back to this other Saskatchewan church.. They decided to fly me in for a day of interviews.
Welcome to August!
The interviews went well, and I flew home that night positive about this. I could see myself working at the church and living in that city. But about a week later I got the phone call. The one saying that we were not moving forward with candidating. I was crushed. I didn't know what to do. Here it was almost the end of August and I had no job.. so what did I do? I moved home. S&A were moving north because she got a job that she loves so I had to find something else... so I moved home.
Welcome to September
I was able to spend some time with my brother and his family at the beginning of September. I really was excited to be spending time with them. I was already in conversations with 2 other churches at this point. The job description for both churches were essentially the same - both were Pastors of Children and Youth Ministries. One was the church that I had grown up in and the other? Well, remember that church that I had previously decided that I really didn't want to work at... well... it was that church. God had been doing some work in my heart and reminding me that I had said yes to His plan when He called me into ministry. It wasn't really right to say no to going somewhere because I didn't want to.
The first church I didn't really want the position they were offering. I didn't really want to go back to small town British Columbia after all God had done in my life over the last 10 years. So I said "Ok God. If you are calling me to this other church then you have to open the doors. You lead and I will go. If you are calling me here then I will go."
Well... I had my first round of interviews on a Monday afternoon. The interview went really well. I was able to communicate well and we parted ways...expecting to hear back within a week if they wanted to move forward with the next interviews.
I'm going to interject here... When I told God that I would go it was almost as if He said "FINALLY! Let's do this!" This process with the church was definitely God leading.
Back to the process... I was expecting to hear back from the church at about the week mark - enough time for them to talk about me and to bring me up to the board... well... It was 45 minutes after my interview that they called me back. They wanted to bring me in to candidate for a weekend at the beginning of October. I was shocked! It was definitely God's doing. They were going to make the recommendation to the Elder's Board to bring me in. So I said yes to candidating!
It was at this point that I was also preparing myself for the possibility of them saying no to me. It had happened before - so it could happen again... but this round felt different than previously.
I flew to Winnipeg on Oct. 2 to candidate and it went well. I really enjoyed getting to know people and being able to meet the kids and youth I would be working with. While I was there, I managed to get in a few more interviews - including the one with the Board of Elders and the Children's Ministry Team. It was an extremely full weekend and as I flew home that Monday, I knew that God was definitely doing something.
I was supposed to hear back at the very least a week later - time enough for everyone to give their feedback and opinions. Time enough for them (and me) to pray and discern where God was leading... well... like I said, I flew home that Monday and late Wednesday night I got an email from one of the church Elders saying that I got the job!!! They were going to draft an offer letter to me and that they were excited God brought our paths together!
While I may have originally said that I didn't want to work in a Chinese church again, I came to the realization that God had been preparing me for this over the last 10 years. Moving to Edmonton and attending a Chinese church and then to Calgary to pursue my MALM and working in a Chinese Church had all prepared me for this position. That doesn't mean that it doesn't come with its challenges but that God had been leading and directing me here.
SO I moved at the end of October to Winnipeg, Manitoba. I moved halfway across the country because I believe that God has called me here to serve this church. I can't believe how much God has done to prepare me for this and how much He has already blessed me here.
As I am sitting here writing this, I have been in Winnipeg for 3.5 months already. I have friends here and great co-workers. Together we are serving our church and God has called each of us here. I have gotten involved with a small group and they have been wonderful to get to know and a great group to be apart of. Their support, laughter, and friendship has been such a blessing as I have started this next phase of my life.
It doesn't mean that this job doesn't have its difficulties or mountains to climb... because it most definitely does... but it means that God has been faithful to what He has called me to. If you've read any of my previous posts you will (or should) see that God has been leading and directing my life. He has led me here. He promised me this when He called me to ministry. I've discovered that it is only when you look back on what God has done can you see how all your experiences line up to what He has called you to do. I never imagined that when I walked into my church in Edmonton that God was going to call me into ministry - and at a Chinese church no less!
God has been faithful and I know He will continue to be. I will definitely been keeping you updated more often on what God has been doing! Sufficient to say... I am excited to be here in Winnipeg and working with this church. I am also excited to see how God is going to use me here.
If you've made it to the end, I applaud you! It's a long update but a needed one! I've got more to share, but for today this is enough.
Let's travel through the Summer months...
May was all about graduation and job hunting... I had been in a few conversations with some churches and while some of them didn't really pan out.. a few looked promising. But mostly I worked and kept looking for jobs. May was also the month that my grandfather passed away. It was weird going to his funeral, but my nieces made up for it. We were at the grave site saying our final goodbyes after he had been lowered into the grave. My soon-to-be 4 year old niece looked into the hole and said "Good-bye Great Grandpa! Have fun in Heaven!" Only from the mouth of a child! But truer words there wasn't.
June brought some more interviews and resumes sent out. At this point it was starting to feel like I was never going to find a job. The church I had been working at had graciously extended my contract until the end of the summer so I wasn't too worried about a job for the summer... but knew I had to find where God wanted me. I had an interview with a small church in Northern Saskatchewan and it looked promising! It was almost what I wanted... but I figured it didn't hurt to move forward with them.
June was also the month that my bestie left for a summer at camp... We had been housemates for over a year at that point and we loved living together! It was going to be an interesting summer!
July marked my candidating! If you don't know what that is, it means that I travel to a church and see what it would be like at the church there... for me it also meant sharing about my life and connecting with the youth and families of that church. I drove to this small town in Saskatchewan for a weekend and left feeling positive. It also felt like God was asking me if I truly trusted Him and His plan for my life. At that point, I said yes, but believing that I was going to end up at this church. I got a call about a week later saying that they felt that God wasn't bringing our paths together. Honestly, I think I was expecting that. It was the conversation with God on my home the previous week that gave me the feeling. I wasn't over-joyed at that point, but kept trusting that God would bring me where He wanted me.
I have to say that at this point, I had already been talking with a church that was looking for a Children's Pastor (also in Saskatchewan - but not so small of a town). There was also a church that I had looked at but while I was interested in the position, I really didn't want to be in another Chinese church or so far from my family - so I dismissed it from my mind. I was, in essence, telling God that I would go where He placed me with conditions... not always a good thing to do... but more on that in a bit!
Back to this other Saskatchewan church.. They decided to fly me in for a day of interviews.
Welcome to August!
The interviews went well, and I flew home that night positive about this. I could see myself working at the church and living in that city. But about a week later I got the phone call. The one saying that we were not moving forward with candidating. I was crushed. I didn't know what to do. Here it was almost the end of August and I had no job.. so what did I do? I moved home. S&A were moving north because she got a job that she loves so I had to find something else... so I moved home.
Welcome to September
I was able to spend some time with my brother and his family at the beginning of September. I really was excited to be spending time with them. I was already in conversations with 2 other churches at this point. The job description for both churches were essentially the same - both were Pastors of Children and Youth Ministries. One was the church that I had grown up in and the other? Well, remember that church that I had previously decided that I really didn't want to work at... well... it was that church. God had been doing some work in my heart and reminding me that I had said yes to His plan when He called me into ministry. It wasn't really right to say no to going somewhere because I didn't want to.
The first church I didn't really want the position they were offering. I didn't really want to go back to small town British Columbia after all God had done in my life over the last 10 years. So I said "Ok God. If you are calling me to this other church then you have to open the doors. You lead and I will go. If you are calling me here then I will go."
Well... I had my first round of interviews on a Monday afternoon. The interview went really well. I was able to communicate well and we parted ways...expecting to hear back within a week if they wanted to move forward with the next interviews.
I'm going to interject here... When I told God that I would go it was almost as if He said "FINALLY! Let's do this!" This process with the church was definitely God leading.
Back to the process... I was expecting to hear back from the church at about the week mark - enough time for them to talk about me and to bring me up to the board... well... It was 45 minutes after my interview that they called me back. They wanted to bring me in to candidate for a weekend at the beginning of October. I was shocked! It was definitely God's doing. They were going to make the recommendation to the Elder's Board to bring me in. So I said yes to candidating!
It was at this point that I was also preparing myself for the possibility of them saying no to me. It had happened before - so it could happen again... but this round felt different than previously.
I flew to Winnipeg on Oct. 2 to candidate and it went well. I really enjoyed getting to know people and being able to meet the kids and youth I would be working with. While I was there, I managed to get in a few more interviews - including the one with the Board of Elders and the Children's Ministry Team. It was an extremely full weekend and as I flew home that Monday, I knew that God was definitely doing something.
I was supposed to hear back at the very least a week later - time enough for everyone to give their feedback and opinions. Time enough for them (and me) to pray and discern where God was leading... well... like I said, I flew home that Monday and late Wednesday night I got an email from one of the church Elders saying that I got the job!!! They were going to draft an offer letter to me and that they were excited God brought our paths together!
While I may have originally said that I didn't want to work in a Chinese church again, I came to the realization that God had been preparing me for this over the last 10 years. Moving to Edmonton and attending a Chinese church and then to Calgary to pursue my MALM and working in a Chinese Church had all prepared me for this position. That doesn't mean that it doesn't come with its challenges but that God had been leading and directing me here.
SO I moved at the end of October to Winnipeg, Manitoba. I moved halfway across the country because I believe that God has called me here to serve this church. I can't believe how much God has done to prepare me for this and how much He has already blessed me here.
As I am sitting here writing this, I have been in Winnipeg for 3.5 months already. I have friends here and great co-workers. Together we are serving our church and God has called each of us here. I have gotten involved with a small group and they have been wonderful to get to know and a great group to be apart of. Their support, laughter, and friendship has been such a blessing as I have started this next phase of my life.
It doesn't mean that this job doesn't have its difficulties or mountains to climb... because it most definitely does... but it means that God has been faithful to what He has called me to. If you've read any of my previous posts you will (or should) see that God has been leading and directing my life. He has led me here. He promised me this when He called me to ministry. I've discovered that it is only when you look back on what God has done can you see how all your experiences line up to what He has called you to do. I never imagined that when I walked into my church in Edmonton that God was going to call me into ministry - and at a Chinese church no less!
God has been faithful and I know He will continue to be. I will definitely been keeping you updated more often on what God has been doing! Sufficient to say... I am excited to be here in Winnipeg and working with this church. I am also excited to see how God is going to use me here.
If you've made it to the end, I applaud you! It's a long update but a needed one! I've got more to share, but for today this is enough.
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Post Grad
These last 6 weeks feel like nothing. Here's what happened! I finished my Masters, Graduated, went on a grad trip with my parents, and a trip to Kelowna for my grandfathers funeral. It's been a whirlwind of a few weeks. Between my grad trip and my trip to Kelowna, I was super jet lagged! So let's catch you up!
My parents took me to Quebec for my grad trip! We went to Montreal, Quebec City, and then spent a day in Ottawa! I took over 600 pictures and loved every moment of it! It was good to spend a week with my parents and to spend the time exploring this beautiful country of ours! If we are facebook friends, there will be pictures up eventually, if we are not, then I'm sorry - no photos for you!
In this time I also had yet another interview with a church. So far, I've applied to 6 churches and have interviewed with 3 of them. The others I haven't heard back from. All these churches have chosen to go with others who have also applied for these positions. So here I am, 1 week until the end of my contract at my current position, and nothing yet on the horizon. I am having a harder time with this, but I am also choosing to trust God and the fact that He has a plan for my life. I wouldn't have gone through all of this just to do nothing...right? I'm choosing to trust Him.
My parents took me to Quebec for my grad trip! We went to Montreal, Quebec City, and then spent a day in Ottawa! I took over 600 pictures and loved every moment of it! It was good to spend a week with my parents and to spend the time exploring this beautiful country of ours! If we are facebook friends, there will be pictures up eventually, if we are not, then I'm sorry - no photos for you!
In this time I also had yet another interview with a church. So far, I've applied to 6 churches and have interviewed with 3 of them. The others I haven't heard back from. All these churches have chosen to go with others who have also applied for these positions. So here I am, 1 week until the end of my contract at my current position, and nothing yet on the horizon. I am having a harder time with this, but I am also choosing to trust God and the fact that He has a plan for my life. I wouldn't have gone through all of this just to do nothing...right? I'm choosing to trust Him.
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
Life Update!
I wrote back in September about all the changes in my life that were coming up. It's been almost 8 months since my last posting and I can't believe how much has happened. I started September with only 4 classes left of my Masters degree. I am sitting in the Seminary Commons right now with 2 three hour classes left of this degree. I can't believe how fast this year has gone and that in less than 4 weeks I graduate! It's INSANE!
Let's catch you up. My job has been going well. I have been there almost 2 years now and I love being with those children and families. I am leaving the church though and am excited to see where God is leading. I have learned a lot these last months that is and has prepared me for my future ministry placement. I have learned how to deal with different situations regarding parents, volunteers, and children. I have gone through some major life lessons and God has been faithful in providing all that I need. He has given me people in my life where I am free and able to talk through things with and people who have continued to support me in all aspects. I am extremely thankful for those who provide a listening ear and sound advice and encouragement.
Back in February, I went through the licensing process with the Christian and Missionary Alliance denomination. I passed! So I am officially a licensed worker with the C&MA. I never imagined that this is where God would take me. I knew when I started this schooling process that I would eventually go through it, but it never really sunk it how much it would matter to me and how much I want this. I am incredibly thankful that God has led me through this and that He continues to guide and teach me everyday. I wouldn't be anywhere without that guidance. I can't imagine anything different for my life. I wouldn't want anything else.
As I'm writing this, I am listening to "Easter" music. Have you ever had days where you are so overcome by how much you are loved? Today is one of those days. I am feeling so loved by God and all the blessings He has given me. Easter always does that to me. (So does Christmas, but I'll save that post for another time.) There are someday's that I can't comprehend the love that God has for me. I can't believe that He would willingly die on the cross for my sins. Not only for me, but for everyone. I get so emotional when I think of the sacrifice that Jesus gave for us.
It's during this time that I am counting all the blessings in my life. In a few weeks I graduate. I am leaving this place that has been a significant part of my life the last 4 years. It's an incredibly sad thing, but also exciting as I get to head off into full-time ministry. Ambrose has been a large part of this process. I have walked these halls and studied in these classrooms. I have spent time learning and laughing. I have made life-long friends and connections who encourage and teach me. These people have been integral to my growing process and in being a part of my life. I call these people my friends, but some of them are so much more than that. We have shared life and have come together despite our different backgrounds and histories. These people have been such a large part of my own personal growth process that I am struggling with leaving this place. I know that they will always be there for me and that they will always be a part of my life, but it's still hard. We are connected to this place. While it's hard to even think of graduation, I wouldn't change anything. I have been here these 4 years for a purpose. The people who have walked alongside of me through this are amazing. The experiences I have experienced have encouraged and strengthened me. I am forever grateful that I have had the privilege of studying under some amazing professors who have encouraged and stretched my thinking and understanding of Scripture and God. It hasn't always been easy, but was it worth it? Absolutely. And I wouldn't change anything!
Let's catch you up. My job has been going well. I have been there almost 2 years now and I love being with those children and families. I am leaving the church though and am excited to see where God is leading. I have learned a lot these last months that is and has prepared me for my future ministry placement. I have learned how to deal with different situations regarding parents, volunteers, and children. I have gone through some major life lessons and God has been faithful in providing all that I need. He has given me people in my life where I am free and able to talk through things with and people who have continued to support me in all aspects. I am extremely thankful for those who provide a listening ear and sound advice and encouragement.
Back in February, I went through the licensing process with the Christian and Missionary Alliance denomination. I passed! So I am officially a licensed worker with the C&MA. I never imagined that this is where God would take me. I knew when I started this schooling process that I would eventually go through it, but it never really sunk it how much it would matter to me and how much I want this. I am incredibly thankful that God has led me through this and that He continues to guide and teach me everyday. I wouldn't be anywhere without that guidance. I can't imagine anything different for my life. I wouldn't want anything else.
As I'm writing this, I am listening to "Easter" music. Have you ever had days where you are so overcome by how much you are loved? Today is one of those days. I am feeling so loved by God and all the blessings He has given me. Easter always does that to me. (So does Christmas, but I'll save that post for another time.) There are someday's that I can't comprehend the love that God has for me. I can't believe that He would willingly die on the cross for my sins. Not only for me, but for everyone. I get so emotional when I think of the sacrifice that Jesus gave for us.
It's during this time that I am counting all the blessings in my life. In a few weeks I graduate. I am leaving this place that has been a significant part of my life the last 4 years. It's an incredibly sad thing, but also exciting as I get to head off into full-time ministry. Ambrose has been a large part of this process. I have walked these halls and studied in these classrooms. I have spent time learning and laughing. I have made life-long friends and connections who encourage and teach me. These people have been integral to my growing process and in being a part of my life. I call these people my friends, but some of them are so much more than that. We have shared life and have come together despite our different backgrounds and histories. These people have been such a large part of my own personal growth process that I am struggling with leaving this place. I know that they will always be there for me and that they will always be a part of my life, but it's still hard. We are connected to this place. While it's hard to even think of graduation, I wouldn't change anything. I have been here these 4 years for a purpose. The people who have walked alongside of me through this are amazing. The experiences I have experienced have encouraged and strengthened me. I am forever grateful that I have had the privilege of studying under some amazing professors who have encouraged and stretched my thinking and understanding of Scripture and God. It hasn't always been easy, but was it worth it? Absolutely. And I wouldn't change anything!
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Changes...
Wow... It's already the end of September. In just a few weeks I turn 26. While I was fine with turning 25... it's scary turning 26 as I am officially closer to 30... and I am almost out of my mid-20's. Life is changing and fast. I often am amazed at how fast life is going, and then realize that I am still young. I am in awe of how much I have accomplished in my life.
This year is a year of changes. I graduate this coming April, with a Masters degree. AIYA!!! I can't believe it! 4 years is a long time. That's how long I've been at it. I will be graduating this year with my Masters degree. God has been so faithful during this time, providing for my every need and providing more than I could ever need in order for me to be able to work and do school. These last 4 years of school have been fantastic. I have learned so much and have a continued desire to continue my education after I graduate. Maybe a class or 2 each year depending on what's being offered and what I want to help my supplement my teachings. As a children's pastor, I believe that it is important for me to continue my education in order to challenge my students.
This is also the year that I am going for accreditation with the Christian & Missionary Alliance denomination. That's scary. It means that I can dedicate/marry/bury. It means that my calling is continuously being fulfilled. God is continuing His promises. My calling is continuously being fulfilled. It's a scary process.
This year will be full of changes and challenges. Licensing is scary enough, but I also have to continuously seek after what is next. My contract with my church is finished in May and this is the time that I am asking what's next. Have I ever mentioned that I'm not a fan of waiting... But that is what I am asked to do at this point. I have to wait for the answer.
Changes. What can I say? Changes. The next 8 months are going to be interesting. I can't wait to see what God does!
This year is a year of changes. I graduate this coming April, with a Masters degree. AIYA!!! I can't believe it! 4 years is a long time. That's how long I've been at it. I will be graduating this year with my Masters degree. God has been so faithful during this time, providing for my every need and providing more than I could ever need in order for me to be able to work and do school. These last 4 years of school have been fantastic. I have learned so much and have a continued desire to continue my education after I graduate. Maybe a class or 2 each year depending on what's being offered and what I want to help my supplement my teachings. As a children's pastor, I believe that it is important for me to continue my education in order to challenge my students.
This is also the year that I am going for accreditation with the Christian & Missionary Alliance denomination. That's scary. It means that I can dedicate/marry/bury. It means that my calling is continuously being fulfilled. God is continuing His promises. My calling is continuously being fulfilled. It's a scary process.
This year will be full of changes and challenges. Licensing is scary enough, but I also have to continuously seek after what is next. My contract with my church is finished in May and this is the time that I am asking what's next. Have I ever mentioned that I'm not a fan of waiting... But that is what I am asked to do at this point. I have to wait for the answer.
Changes. What can I say? Changes. The next 8 months are going to be interesting. I can't wait to see what God does!
Thursday, June 12, 2014
What?!? I'm an adult?!?
Seriously! When did I become an adult? It's like I looked up and BAM I'm an adult. Most days I go around doing what I do, but there are instances where I start to feel older and have "adult" moments. For instance, I filled out a survey the other day and had to enter the age category. It was a weird feeling when I found out that I am in a different category now. I was expecting that feeling at 26, not at 25. There was an 18-24 category and the 25-36 category... That felt weird. There was a moment of panic when I realized that I was no longer associated in that category. I was like "oh no! I can't be that old yet!" It was CRAZY!
Also, there have been moments in this past year that have helped aid this. I hired a summer intern. For many years, that was my role... now I am on the other side of this... I hired a summer intern... It's crazy! It's starting to hit home that I am no longer young... but that I am an adult, in my mid-20's finishing up a Masters degree, earlier bed times, and doing adult things. It's like there was this switch, and I don't know when it happened...
Life is crazy eh?
Also, there have been moments in this past year that have helped aid this. I hired a summer intern. For many years, that was my role... now I am on the other side of this... I hired a summer intern... It's crazy! It's starting to hit home that I am no longer young... but that I am an adult, in my mid-20's finishing up a Masters degree, earlier bed times, and doing adult things. It's like there was this switch, and I don't know when it happened...
Life is crazy eh?
Monday, December 16, 2013
Life
So, this past summer I accepted a job with one of the local churches in Calgary. I am the children's pastor there. Let me tell you, this has been one steep learning curve! But it has been absolutely worth it!
A few things that I have learned:
- Don't think that you can do it all by yourself. I learned this the hard way. I had to ask for help eventually. But when I did, it made it that much more enjoyable and less stressful!
- I will screw things up. I will mess things up so bad that I don't think I could ever recover from! But it gets better. There are people who will help get through it and help fix things.
- If something is going to go wrong it will. These things do not only happen by themselves...There will be many things that go wrong.
- The children will surprise you! There will be times that these kids just astonish you with what they learn and what they remember from week to week.
- The children will steal your heart. I've been working with these kids since the summer now and they have captured my heart. They are so precious and even if they are having a bad day, they are still cute and precious!
- The congregation will become a part of who I am. They will become part of what I do. They will be the ones that I want to minister to. They are the ones I want to serve.
- I can't do anything without my volunteers! These people are amazing. They are willing to do anything that's needed above and beyond what's needed. These people are what makes my ministry go!
- I can't do anything without God. He is the one that provides the energy, the stamina, and the excitement! There is no way that I could do what I do every week without God.
This Christmas is my first Christmas play with the kids. It has also been a learning curve. There are things that I will make sure that don't happen again. I need to be better prepared for it. But it is also rewarding. The kids have been working hard and it is coming together. We perform on Sunday and things are falling into place.
This job is also everything that I have ever dreamed I would have wanted in a career. It is my calling. It is my vocation. It is what I am supposed to be doing with my life. Have you ever had when something is so right that it is amazing? Well, that is what this is!
I LOVE being a Children's Pastor!
A few things that I have learned:
- Don't think that you can do it all by yourself. I learned this the hard way. I had to ask for help eventually. But when I did, it made it that much more enjoyable and less stressful!
- I will screw things up. I will mess things up so bad that I don't think I could ever recover from! But it gets better. There are people who will help get through it and help fix things.
- If something is going to go wrong it will. These things do not only happen by themselves...There will be many things that go wrong.
- The children will surprise you! There will be times that these kids just astonish you with what they learn and what they remember from week to week.
- The children will steal your heart. I've been working with these kids since the summer now and they have captured my heart. They are so precious and even if they are having a bad day, they are still cute and precious!
- The congregation will become a part of who I am. They will become part of what I do. They will be the ones that I want to minister to. They are the ones I want to serve.
- I can't do anything without my volunteers! These people are amazing. They are willing to do anything that's needed above and beyond what's needed. These people are what makes my ministry go!
- I can't do anything without God. He is the one that provides the energy, the stamina, and the excitement! There is no way that I could do what I do every week without God.
This Christmas is my first Christmas play with the kids. It has also been a learning curve. There are things that I will make sure that don't happen again. I need to be better prepared for it. But it is also rewarding. The kids have been working hard and it is coming together. We perform on Sunday and things are falling into place.
This job is also everything that I have ever dreamed I would have wanted in a career. It is my calling. It is my vocation. It is what I am supposed to be doing with my life. Have you ever had when something is so right that it is amazing? Well, that is what this is!
I LOVE being a Children's Pastor!
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Family.
Family. What does that word even mean? I have blood-related people who I call family, and I have family friends who I would consider family. They may not be blood-related, but they are still a large part of my "family". I also have friends who have become family. What does this word mean to you?
I figured out today that my family has not been together for a holiday in almost 2 years. No Easters, no Thanksgivings, No Christmas', no Birthdays. The last holiday my family was all together at was my nieces first Christmas, and even then it included my sister-in-law's mother and sister. Times change, families grow, and live continues. It's a hard reality to grasp when everyone in your family is going/doing something for Christmas and you are left wondering "well, what about me?" (I might go into a rant here as I write, so forgive me, I need to share my heart with someone).
I miss my family. I miss spending time together as a family. We were together a few weeks ago to help my brother and his family move to Edmonton. There were lots of other people around to help them move so I got to spend some valuable time with my nieces, but then I had to leave and go back to my life. I had to go back to work and miss being with my family that much longer. This Christmas, they are all invited somewhere else for Christmas and I am left wondering what I am going to do. I work in a church. It is kind of expected of me to be there for Christmas. I came to the realization that this will be my first Christmas without any of my family. Last year, my sister-in-law was 9 months pregnant and it wasn't safe for them to travel. The year before that, we all traveled north to visit them in their home with her side of the family. It's not a bad thing to celebrate the wonderful holiday with extended family, but I miss my family. I miss it being just the 7 of us together. I don't know what a holiday looks like with just my family. I've never experienced it. Because of school (and now work) I can't always get away for the different holidays. It sucks. I miss my family.
It's also confusing because I am still single (not that I am complaining). I don't know if there will ever be someone else's family for me to visit. I don't know if there is the possibility of being in a relationship and starting my own traditions with my own family. I just don't know.
I was blessed to spend this weekend with friends. My birthday was on Saturday and I have an amazing set of friends who spent the day with me playing games and hanging out. It was amazing. I loved it. I was also privileged to be a part of their family dinner this afternoon/evening. We were able to hang out, eat some great food, and have a great time together. I had an amazing time hanging out with her family, but it's not the same as spending the time with my family. I have been privileged to spend the last Easter, Canada Day, and this Thanksgiving with this family who have sort of 'adopted' me into their family. I love it. I get to spend time with people that I love and who have just accepted me. But it makes me miss my family even more. It makes me miss the Thanksgivings, Easters, Christmas', Birthdays. It makes me miss seeing my nieces grow. It makes me miss being with my family celebrating the different holidays. It makes me wish for more.
I miss my family, but it also makes me thankful for those who have become a part of my 'family'.
I figured out today that my family has not been together for a holiday in almost 2 years. No Easters, no Thanksgivings, No Christmas', no Birthdays. The last holiday my family was all together at was my nieces first Christmas, and even then it included my sister-in-law's mother and sister. Times change, families grow, and live continues. It's a hard reality to grasp when everyone in your family is going/doing something for Christmas and you are left wondering "well, what about me?" (I might go into a rant here as I write, so forgive me, I need to share my heart with someone).
I miss my family. I miss spending time together as a family. We were together a few weeks ago to help my brother and his family move to Edmonton. There were lots of other people around to help them move so I got to spend some valuable time with my nieces, but then I had to leave and go back to my life. I had to go back to work and miss being with my family that much longer. This Christmas, they are all invited somewhere else for Christmas and I am left wondering what I am going to do. I work in a church. It is kind of expected of me to be there for Christmas. I came to the realization that this will be my first Christmas without any of my family. Last year, my sister-in-law was 9 months pregnant and it wasn't safe for them to travel. The year before that, we all traveled north to visit them in their home with her side of the family. It's not a bad thing to celebrate the wonderful holiday with extended family, but I miss my family. I miss it being just the 7 of us together. I don't know what a holiday looks like with just my family. I've never experienced it. Because of school (and now work) I can't always get away for the different holidays. It sucks. I miss my family.
It's also confusing because I am still single (not that I am complaining). I don't know if there will ever be someone else's family for me to visit. I don't know if there is the possibility of being in a relationship and starting my own traditions with my own family. I just don't know.
I was blessed to spend this weekend with friends. My birthday was on Saturday and I have an amazing set of friends who spent the day with me playing games and hanging out. It was amazing. I loved it. I was also privileged to be a part of their family dinner this afternoon/evening. We were able to hang out, eat some great food, and have a great time together. I had an amazing time hanging out with her family, but it's not the same as spending the time with my family. I have been privileged to spend the last Easter, Canada Day, and this Thanksgiving with this family who have sort of 'adopted' me into their family. I love it. I get to spend time with people that I love and who have just accepted me. But it makes me miss my family even more. It makes me miss the Thanksgivings, Easters, Christmas', Birthdays. It makes me miss seeing my nieces grow. It makes me miss being with my family celebrating the different holidays. It makes me wish for more.
I miss my family, but it also makes me thankful for those who have become a part of my 'family'.
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Introverts.
So I just finished reading a book for one of my classes called Introverts in the Church: Finding our place in an Extroverted Culture. This book has done a lot of validating for my vocation and in who I am. There is so much in the book that I want to share but for now, I shall leave you with this quote: "When we pursue those things we love, we delight in God and his gifts. God has engrained in all of us particular passions, drives and interests, and in pursuing them with a Godward perspective, we engage in worship."
Think on that. What is worship? It's not only just singing songs and listening to a sermon. It is so much more than that!
If you are an introvert, then this is a book I highly reccomend!
Think on that. What is worship? It's not only just singing songs and listening to a sermon. It is so much more than that!
If you are an introvert, then this is a book I highly reccomend!
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
All the way my Saviour leads me.
This song really speaks to me. It describes what's going on right now and how God is working in my life right now.
All the way my Saviour leads me - Chris Tomlin
All the way my Savior leads me
Who have I to ask beside
How could I doubt His tender mercy
Who through life has been my guide
All the way my Savior leads me
Cheers each winding path I tread
Gives me grace for every trial
Feeds me with the living bread
You lead me and keep me from falling
You carry me close to Your heart
And surely Your goodness
And mercy will follow me
All the way my Savior leads me
Oh, the fullness of His love
Oh, the sureness of His promise
In the triumph of His blood
And when my spirit clothed immortal
Wings its flight to realms of day
This my song through endless ages
Jesus led me all the way
Jesus led me all the way
You lead me and keep me from falling
You carry me close to Your heart
And surely Your goodness
And mercy will follow me
You lead me and keep me from falling
You carry me close to Your heart
And surely Your goodness
And mercy will follow me, will follow me
All the way my Savior leads me
All the way my Savior leads me
All the way my Saviour leads me - Chris Tomlin
All the way my Savior leads me
Who have I to ask beside
How could I doubt His tender mercy
Who through life has been my guide
All the way my Savior leads me
Cheers each winding path I tread
Gives me grace for every trial
Feeds me with the living bread
You lead me and keep me from falling
You carry me close to Your heart
And surely Your goodness
And mercy will follow me
All the way my Savior leads me
Oh, the fullness of His love
Oh, the sureness of His promise
In the triumph of His blood
And when my spirit clothed immortal
Wings its flight to realms of day
This my song through endless ages
Jesus led me all the way
Jesus led me all the way
You lead me and keep me from falling
You carry me close to Your heart
And surely Your goodness
And mercy will follow me
You lead me and keep me from falling
You carry me close to Your heart
And surely Your goodness
And mercy will follow me, will follow me
All the way my Savior leads me
All the way my Savior leads me
Monday, December 10, 2012
Seminary Life...
So I am currently working on a lesson plan for Balaam's Donkey (Numbers 22:21-40) and thought it would be cool to do a skit... My friend pipes up and starts making up this song (sung to Yankee Doodle) that is now going to be included in my lesson plan!
Prophet Balaam went to town
Riding on the donkey
Hit the donkey on the head
and donkey started talking
Why'd you hit me on the head
Why'd you hit me Balaam
Why'd you hit me on the head
That Angel's got a sword!
(Sung to Yankee Doodle)
I LOVE SEMINARY!
Prophet Balaam went to town
Riding on the donkey
Hit the donkey on the head
and donkey started talking
Why'd you hit me on the head
Why'd you hit me Balaam
Why'd you hit me on the head
That Angel's got a sword!
(Sung to Yankee Doodle)
I LOVE SEMINARY!
Monday, October 29, 2012
Sometime's it's hard going down Memory Lane...
I went looking for a bag today. There generally is not anything special about a bag... However, this bag is special. It holds many letters and notes from friends in Edmonton! These letters remind me how loved I am and when I go back to visit, how many friends are going to want to see me.
So I have now been in Calgary for 2 months. It does not feel like it has been 2 months. It feels like forever!
Where to begin... So much has happened and yet, there is still so much that is going to happen! In the last month, I have:
A) Found a home church
B) Got a job at another Oxford
C) Applied for a 'real world' job
D) Visited Elbow Falls with friends
E) Made some AMAZING new friends!
F) Met friends who will be lifelong 'family'
G) Joined the Seminary Student Council (SSC) as the PR co-ordinator
H) Made it on to another committee
I) Attending Classes
J) Had/Having my mind blown with new information in my classes
K) Having information presented in a new way where my mind becomes blown
L) Found a new small group to join
M) Celebrated my 24th birthday with friends after one of my weekend modulars
(This was a birthday to remember!!! All I have to say is... Pictionary Man!!! LOL!!!)
This list is not exhastive, but it has been a full and exciting 2 months. God has been teaching me a lot. My classes have all changed how I view the church and what goes on in it. I find I am becoming more aware of lots of different things. I am also becoming more aware (and scared) of what I am called to do. I have realized that in Children's Ministry a lot of curriculum is watered down for the Children. I also feel like we do not give the kids enough credit. We keep telling them that they are only kids and that they don't know anything... but we are wrong. I find that sometimes, the kids can hear God better than we can because they are not constricted by social structures and views that hinder them. I find that we tell them they dont understand or know things because they are children. If you know me, this is something that I am really passionate about. I could talk for a while on this, but if you want to talk more, let's go for coffee.
One thing that scares me is that I am called to teach the Children. I keep asking and wondering how I take what I am learning and teach it to the Children. It is something that I have asked my profs, and they keep telling me to keep asking that question.
It's challenging, but what can I say, I LOVE IT!
I love Seminary! I feel like I belong in Seminary. I have made so many new friends and not just people who are just there, but friends who will be friends for life. These people have been my support and kept me sane. They are willing to go the extra mile to make me laugh and the stuff we have done... Memories have been made! :)
So, on another note... If you know much about my health in the last few years, you know that I have had a terrible time. I have had tonsilitus for the last 4 years (multiple times a year) and I am often sick. In May, I started feeling sick everytime I had dairy... So I got checked out and found that I now have a lactose intolerancy. Fine, I can deal with that. I also found out this summer that with my thyroid disease, I should not be eating a bunch of things. This list is rather long... it includes Gluten (any form of wheat products), soy products, certain vegetables, etc... SO I went from having no food allergies at all to an interesting list of DO NOT EAT foods. By God's grace, I am survivng. There is still lots I can eat, but it forces me to eat healthy so it's a good thing. I am learning how to eat gluten/soy/dairy free and most places are accomidating, and as long as I remind people when I go out, it's managable. I also have some amazing friends who try to accomidate me when we
share meals together. Have I mentioned that I love my friends? In response to all these new issues, the one thing that has been amazing is... I HAVE NOT BEEN SICK SINCE THE SUMMER!!! No tonsilitus, no colds, no flu... NOTHING!!! This is the time of year where I have been sicker than a dog. Amazing eh? Somehow, my body has been trying to tell me this for the last few years, but no one thought to check for intolerances or things that might be affecting me when ALL my tests ALWAYS came back clear... Hmmm... Some doctors eh?
God has been doing so much in these last 2 months, that it is hard to count all the blessings! I feel blessed and Loved.
I have more to share, but for now, you have to wait. There is stuff going on that I won't share about yet. If you have had a chance to talk with me, you might already know. However, in due time, you shall find out.
Prayer:
A) That God will show some discernment to those involved
B) That God will continue to bless and strengthen me as I finish this semester
C) That God will continue to teach me and show me what He has in store
D) That as I am learning, God will show up in unexpected ways
E) That I will continue to be blessed with good health.
Praise be to God for all that He has done.
Where to begin... So much has happened and yet, there is still so much that is going to happen! In the last month, I have:
A) Found a home church
B) Got a job at another Oxford
C) Applied for a 'real world' job
D) Visited Elbow Falls with friends
E) Made some AMAZING new friends!
F) Met friends who will be lifelong 'family'
G) Joined the Seminary Student Council (SSC) as the PR co-ordinator
H) Made it on to another committee
I) Attending Classes
J) Had/Having my mind blown with new information in my classes
K) Having information presented in a new way where my mind becomes blown
L) Found a new small group to join
M) Celebrated my 24th birthday with friends after one of my weekend modulars
(This was a birthday to remember!!! All I have to say is... Pictionary Man!!! LOL!!!)
This list is not exhastive, but it has been a full and exciting 2 months. God has been teaching me a lot. My classes have all changed how I view the church and what goes on in it. I find I am becoming more aware of lots of different things. I am also becoming more aware (and scared) of what I am called to do. I have realized that in Children's Ministry a lot of curriculum is watered down for the Children. I also feel like we do not give the kids enough credit. We keep telling them that they are only kids and that they don't know anything... but we are wrong. I find that sometimes, the kids can hear God better than we can because they are not constricted by social structures and views that hinder them. I find that we tell them they dont understand or know things because they are children. If you know me, this is something that I am really passionate about. I could talk for a while on this, but if you want to talk more, let's go for coffee.
One thing that scares me is that I am called to teach the Children. I keep asking and wondering how I take what I am learning and teach it to the Children. It is something that I have asked my profs, and they keep telling me to keep asking that question.
It's challenging, but what can I say, I LOVE IT!
I love Seminary! I feel like I belong in Seminary. I have made so many new friends and not just people who are just there, but friends who will be friends for life. These people have been my support and kept me sane. They are willing to go the extra mile to make me laugh and the stuff we have done... Memories have been made! :)
So, on another note... If you know much about my health in the last few years, you know that I have had a terrible time. I have had tonsilitus for the last 4 years (multiple times a year) and I am often sick. In May, I started feeling sick everytime I had dairy... So I got checked out and found that I now have a lactose intolerancy. Fine, I can deal with that. I also found out this summer that with my thyroid disease, I should not be eating a bunch of things. This list is rather long... it includes Gluten (any form of wheat products), soy products, certain vegetables, etc... SO I went from having no food allergies at all to an interesting list of DO NOT EAT foods. By God's grace, I am survivng. There is still lots I can eat, but it forces me to eat healthy so it's a good thing. I am learning how to eat gluten/soy/dairy free and most places are accomidating, and as long as I remind people when I go out, it's managable. I also have some amazing friends who try to accomidate me when we
share meals together. Have I mentioned that I love my friends? In response to all these new issues, the one thing that has been amazing is... I HAVE NOT BEEN SICK SINCE THE SUMMER!!! No tonsilitus, no colds, no flu... NOTHING!!! This is the time of year where I have been sicker than a dog. Amazing eh? Somehow, my body has been trying to tell me this for the last few years, but no one thought to check for intolerances or things that might be affecting me when ALL my tests ALWAYS came back clear... Hmmm... Some doctors eh?
God has been doing so much in these last 2 months, that it is hard to count all the blessings! I feel blessed and Loved.
I have more to share, but for now, you have to wait. There is stuff going on that I won't share about yet. If you have had a chance to talk with me, you might already know. However, in due time, you shall find out.
Prayer:
A) That God will show some discernment to those involved
B) That God will continue to bless and strengthen me as I finish this semester
C) That God will continue to teach me and show me what He has in store
D) That as I am learning, God will show up in unexpected ways
E) That I will continue to be blessed with good health.
Praise be to God for all that He has done.
Friday, September 14, 2012
Bless the Lord oh my Soul
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXDGE_lRI0E
Currently this is one of a few songs stuck in my head.
The last few days, I have been feeling restless... I don't know why and I can't figure it out. My thoughts are going a million miles/minute and when I try to quiet down and get in some God time, it doesn't always happen.
When I moved from Edmonton, a friend of mine gave me a book. What's so special about a book you wonder? This one is called "Sacred Caos" by Tricia McCary Rhodes. It is about finding God and listening to Him through the caos. I don't know if this friend had any insight into what my life would become going fultime into seminary... but as I read it, I am finding some hope that I will still be able to hear God through the caos in my daily life.
I am also learning that I need to worry less about the little details and try to focus more on the larger picture. Don't get me wrong, little details are important too, but I also need to look at the bigger picture too.
Currently this is one of a few songs stuck in my head.
The last few days, I have been feeling restless... I don't know why and I can't figure it out. My thoughts are going a million miles/minute and when I try to quiet down and get in some God time, it doesn't always happen.
When I moved from Edmonton, a friend of mine gave me a book. What's so special about a book you wonder? This one is called "Sacred Caos" by Tricia McCary Rhodes. It is about finding God and listening to Him through the caos. I don't know if this friend had any insight into what my life would become going fultime into seminary... but as I read it, I am finding some hope that I will still be able to hear God through the caos in my daily life.
I am also learning that I need to worry less about the little details and try to focus more on the larger picture. Don't get me wrong, little details are important too, but I also need to look at the bigger picture too.
Monday, September 3, 2012
Following God's plan even when I don't understand
So here it is... already Sept. 7th. How crazy is that? I have been in Calgary for almost a week and it feels like longer.
Highlights:
-Starting classes
-Meeting new friends
-Seeing old friends
-Finding a church to connect with
Lowlights:
-Coming to grips with how much work this semester is going to be
-Leaving Edmonton
I have decided that even though it was hard leaving Edmonton and my family of friends there, God has a greater plan for me here. My chapter in Edmonton has finished for now. This next chapter has been exciting so far and pretty cool. I am getting to know some people from the seminary and making friends with them too. Classes have started and I am excited with what I will be learning this semester... Trust me, it's going to be a lot!
I have even found a church where I already feel at home! For me, that is God letting me know that this is where I am supposed to be.
It has only been a week since I moved, but I can tell you already that it feels like I belong.
Highlights:
-Starting classes
-Meeting new friends
-Seeing old friends
-Finding a church to connect with
Lowlights:
-Coming to grips with how much work this semester is going to be
-Leaving Edmonton
I have decided that even though it was hard leaving Edmonton and my family of friends there, God has a greater plan for me here. My chapter in Edmonton has finished for now. This next chapter has been exciting so far and pretty cool. I am getting to know some people from the seminary and making friends with them too. Classes have started and I am excited with what I will be learning this semester... Trust me, it's going to be a lot!
I have even found a church where I already feel at home! For me, that is God letting me know that this is where I am supposed to be.
It has only been a week since I moved, but I can tell you already that it feels like I belong.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Ola.
Aug. 20
So it has been a while since I have blogged. There has been so much change that I needed to process before I shared with you. So as of right now, I am unemployed, homeless, and on vacation with my mum. I can't be any happier. I quitmy job and have decided to move to Calgary to focus on school. Which means that my time in Edmonton has come to an end. I have spent 6 years in the city and have loved very moment of it. I grew up spiritually there and have come so far. If you have been following any of my posts, you have read what changes have happened in my life the last few years. The past few months have been a struggle for me. Back in May I was struggling with moving to Calgary. I didn't want to leave my church family and my friends in Edmonton. 3 months later, I have quit my job and have moved all my stuff backto my parents...at least the stuff I won't need in Calgary. I move to Calgary on the 1st of September and start classesthe next week. Now that I am on vacation and have moved, I am super exited to move and start the next chapter of my life in Calgary. I believe that God already has a church for me and that He has provided all that I need in Calgary.He will have a job for me and friends. Have I ever mentioned that I am an introvert and that I have anxiety issues? This is where I start to struggle and where you can help. Naturally, I am the girl who sits and watches people. I don't normally join in conversations or activities. With the move to Calgary, I am going to have to force myself intosituations where I am uncomfortable. I am going to have to force myself to make new friends and get involved in minstry. The part where I start to fail is in the putting myself out there. In my head, I do know that it is not that hard to makefriends and put myself out there, but there is always a part of me that will have me staying home or avoiding issues so that I don't have to deal with them. It's not ok for me to do that anymore. This is going to be part of the next step; working through the anxiety and fear to allow others to know me as God has created me. I have to learn how to work through the anxiety and introversion; I can't let them stay the boundaries that I know they can become. These boundaries have given me excusses not to put myself out there and have created so much fear in me that I can not physically deal with anything. This is the year that I learn how to deal with my anxiety. This is going to be a year of change where I let God work healing into my life and cure me of my fear and anxiety. This is going to be a year of change.
So it has been a while since I have blogged. There has been so much change that I needed to process before I shared with you. So as of right now, I am unemployed, homeless, and on vacation with my mum. I can't be any happier. I quitmy job and have decided to move to Calgary to focus on school. Which means that my time in Edmonton has come to an end. I have spent 6 years in the city and have loved very moment of it. I grew up spiritually there and have come so far. If you have been following any of my posts, you have read what changes have happened in my life the last few years. The past few months have been a struggle for me. Back in May I was struggling with moving to Calgary. I didn't want to leave my church family and my friends in Edmonton. 3 months later, I have quit my job and have moved all my stuff backto my parents...at least the stuff I won't need in Calgary. I move to Calgary on the 1st of September and start classesthe next week. Now that I am on vacation and have moved, I am super exited to move and start the next chapter of my life in Calgary. I believe that God already has a church for me and that He has provided all that I need in Calgary.He will have a job for me and friends. Have I ever mentioned that I am an introvert and that I have anxiety issues? This is where I start to struggle and where you can help. Naturally, I am the girl who sits and watches people. I don't normally join in conversations or activities. With the move to Calgary, I am going to have to force myself intosituations where I am uncomfortable. I am going to have to force myself to make new friends and get involved in minstry. The part where I start to fail is in the putting myself out there. In my head, I do know that it is not that hard to makefriends and put myself out there, but there is always a part of me that will have me staying home or avoiding issues so that I don't have to deal with them. It's not ok for me to do that anymore. This is going to be part of the next step; working through the anxiety and fear to allow others to know me as God has created me. I have to learn how to work through the anxiety and introversion; I can't let them stay the boundaries that I know they can become. These boundaries have given me excusses not to put myself out there and have created so much fear in me that I can not physically deal with anything. This is the year that I learn how to deal with my anxiety. This is going to be a year of change where I let God work healing into my life and cure me of my fear and anxiety. This is going to be a year of change.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
God leads, I follow?
I know I've posted this song before, but it has been in my head for a while now. Read the lyrics and let the truth wash over you... I often want to lead my life and go where I want to. I was in Calgary a while ago for a course and there had been something that I was struggling with (and maybe fighting against)... It was the decision to move to Calgary for school... My reasons for not going? A) I have a job here B) My church is here - I'm heavily involved in the childrens' ministry and other ministries C) My life has been here the last few years... I had been fighting with God about not going... and although I had made the decision to stay in Edmonton... I had no peace about it. While in Calgary for my course, one of the questions God asked (through my prof) was "Do you think that you are the only one who loves your kids?" WOW... Ummm... There's not much to say to that. I had time to reflect and really take a look at why I wanted to stay in Edmonton and what God was calling me to do... I realized that I was scared. I was scared of saying yes to God and letting Him lead me where He wants me to go. By the end of the week, I knew for sure that I was moving to Calgary at the end of the summer... I still am not sure where I am going to live or where I am going to work (although there is a good opportunity coming up), but God has provided a church where I can serve and gain valuable ministry experience. And you know what? I have complete peace about this decision. I have no fear, no anxiety, no worries at all about moving. I know that God has called me to Calgary for this next season in my life and that He has it all under control.
God is AMAZING!
God will make a way - Don Moen
God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength
For each new day
He will make a way
He will make a way
By a roadway in the wilderness
He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
He will do something new today
God is AMAZING!
God will make a way - Don Moen
God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength
For each new day
He will make a way
He will make a way
By a roadway in the wilderness
He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
He will do something new today
Sunday, March 25, 2012
S.N.O.W.
No, that does not mean the white fluffy stuff that falls to the ground... It stands for Sunday Night Of Worship. It happens once a month between some of the churches. It's a glorious night where we can come together as brothers and sisters in Christ and worship our AMAZING God! Tonight, was a wonderful blessed night. God was definately praised!
I've been struggling for the last while with fear. Fear of social situations and fear of being myself in front of others... It's irrational, but I struggle with it. This first link is to a song that we sang tonight. As we started singing it, I had to stop and let the words wash over me. The chorus goes like this:
When all you are is Glorious, Oh God
Victorious and strong
Whom shall I fear?
When all you are is Powerful and True
And good in all you do
Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
These are some powerful lyrics. Through the lyrics, God reminded me that I am not alone. He is always beside me, holding me close through the pain and fear. He will never leave me and never let me go. That is one AMAZING promise! It's a great reminder when I am struck by fear and too scared to be myself when I know others would love to get to know the real me. Listen to the song. It is a great reminder for myself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJfatpypaXY
This second song is from Hillsong. The whole lyrics are amazing. It reminds me that I am Restored, Redeemed, and Free. I am free to fall at the feet of Jesus in worship, in pain, in fear, and in surrender. However I am feeling, God is there, waiting to share my pain and love me. I can fall at the feet of Jesus and worship, worship as the broken, sinful, sinner I am; knowing that I am saved and loved unconditionally.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlrrHoM_tUU
Be blessed this week.
~C
I've been struggling for the last while with fear. Fear of social situations and fear of being myself in front of others... It's irrational, but I struggle with it. This first link is to a song that we sang tonight. As we started singing it, I had to stop and let the words wash over me. The chorus goes like this:
When all you are is Glorious, Oh God
Victorious and strong
Whom shall I fear?
When all you are is Powerful and True
And good in all you do
Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
These are some powerful lyrics. Through the lyrics, God reminded me that I am not alone. He is always beside me, holding me close through the pain and fear. He will never leave me and never let me go. That is one AMAZING promise! It's a great reminder when I am struck by fear and too scared to be myself when I know others would love to get to know the real me. Listen to the song. It is a great reminder for myself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJfatpypaXY
This second song is from Hillsong. The whole lyrics are amazing. It reminds me that I am Restored, Redeemed, and Free. I am free to fall at the feet of Jesus in worship, in pain, in fear, and in surrender. However I am feeling, God is there, waiting to share my pain and love me. I can fall at the feet of Jesus and worship, worship as the broken, sinful, sinner I am; knowing that I am saved and loved unconditionally.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlrrHoM_tUU
Be blessed this week.
~C
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Myths...
Do you keep secrets? Are you an open book to those around you? I often wonder what's not being said... by nature I'm an introvert. I know... not a huge surprise... but it's a fact. I'm not shy, I just don't like being around people all the time. I don't talk to others easily either. I am not a fan of small talk and would rather go for coffee one-on-one than deal with large groups... I found this and thought it was interesting... and kinda true... Thoughts?
10 Myths on Introverts...
Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.
Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.
Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.
Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.
Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.
Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.
Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.
Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.
Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.
Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers.
10 Myths on Introverts...
Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.
Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.
Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.
Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.
Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.
Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.
Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.
Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.
Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.
Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
2012
Welcome to 2012. Over the last few weeks, I've been reflecting on 2011. For me, it was a year of expenential growth and changes. Starting seminary, my niece being born, getting involved in a small group, friends moving 1/2 way across the world... just to name a few. I think that God really had His hand in my life last year. If you had asked me where I was going to be at that time in 2012, my answer would have been entirely different than life now. I would have said I would be in the education program with plans to teach overseas. Well, as you know, I am not in the Ed program. I am in my first year of seminary... becoming a children's pastor... and you know what? I don't regret saying 'yes' to God when He called me into ministry. These last few months have been a learning curve for me, but I have also learned some valuable lessons through that.
1. God is in control, not me - This was probiably one of the hardest lessons to learn (I am still learning this). I like to be in control of things, that way they get done properly and in a timely fashion. I like to always have a plan of what/where my life is headed. For years, that was what kept me motivated to study. I had a plan of where I wanted to end up. This past year, God has been teaching me that what I want is not always necessarily the best thing for me or His kingdom. The gifts and talents He has given me are better used where He wants me than where I wanted to be. Through different situations, God has been showing me that life is much better when He is in control instead of me... I am finding that there is much less stress when He is in control. God has also been teaching me to give up my dreams and desires so that I can serve Him. If you had asked me 5 years ago where I wanted to be when I was 23, I would have said graduated (with 2 degrees), teaching in a school, married and possibly having children already. I have only accomplished 1/4 on that list... I graduated University, there's a possibility of arguing the teaching one (I do teach preschool and tutor...) This last year has taught me that I don't need a plan for my life when God is in control. He leads me where He wants me to go and that will be far better than what I could have ever imagined! (It already is!!!)
2. I am stronger than I thought - life doesn't fall apart just because someone moves. I used to think that I really needed certain people around (you know who you are) to be comfortable and be there for me if something failed. God has taught me this year that He is enough for me. I don't need others around for me to be in my comfort zone... (this has slowly been increasing over the last year...) With God at my side, I am able to conquer anything... even when the anxiety sets in and my flight response kicks into full gear! (This is one God and I are still working on).
3. He is constant - No matter what is happening, God is always there. He never hides or stops pursuing me. I love that about God. I can often get so caught up in the here and now that I forget about spending quality time with God (notice the 'quality' there... just reading a few verses doesn't really count as 'quality'). No matter what I am going through, He is always there waiting for me to talk to Him about it. I may not always get an answer or a response that I want, but that doesn't mean that He doesn't care or wants to listen. He is always there. He stays the same no matter how much I change.
These are just some things that God has taught me this year. As we start the new year, we tend to make resolutions... I don't like resolutions. Most people don't keep them or they have no real purpose. This year, instead of making a resolution, I made a goal. A friend of mine did this last year, and I think it's an amazing thing. I started a Thankful List. Each day, I write in my thankful book something that I am thankful for... Something that God has shown me or has blessed me with that day. The idea behind the list is to remind myself that what I have been given is not of my doing... It's a gift from God. Each day is a gift that I can enjoy and serve.
Can I challenge you? What has God done in your life recently? What blessings (or unfortunate events) are you thankful for?
1. God is in control, not me - This was probiably one of the hardest lessons to learn (I am still learning this). I like to be in control of things, that way they get done properly and in a timely fashion. I like to always have a plan of what/where my life is headed. For years, that was what kept me motivated to study. I had a plan of where I wanted to end up. This past year, God has been teaching me that what I want is not always necessarily the best thing for me or His kingdom. The gifts and talents He has given me are better used where He wants me than where I wanted to be. Through different situations, God has been showing me that life is much better when He is in control instead of me... I am finding that there is much less stress when He is in control. God has also been teaching me to give up my dreams and desires so that I can serve Him. If you had asked me 5 years ago where I wanted to be when I was 23, I would have said graduated (with 2 degrees), teaching in a school, married and possibly having children already. I have only accomplished 1/4 on that list... I graduated University, there's a possibility of arguing the teaching one (I do teach preschool and tutor...) This last year has taught me that I don't need a plan for my life when God is in control. He leads me where He wants me to go and that will be far better than what I could have ever imagined! (It already is!!!)
2. I am stronger than I thought - life doesn't fall apart just because someone moves. I used to think that I really needed certain people around (you know who you are) to be comfortable and be there for me if something failed. God has taught me this year that He is enough for me. I don't need others around for me to be in my comfort zone... (this has slowly been increasing over the last year...) With God at my side, I am able to conquer anything... even when the anxiety sets in and my flight response kicks into full gear! (This is one God and I are still working on).
3. He is constant - No matter what is happening, God is always there. He never hides or stops pursuing me. I love that about God. I can often get so caught up in the here and now that I forget about spending quality time with God (notice the 'quality' there... just reading a few verses doesn't really count as 'quality'). No matter what I am going through, He is always there waiting for me to talk to Him about it. I may not always get an answer or a response that I want, but that doesn't mean that He doesn't care or wants to listen. He is always there. He stays the same no matter how much I change.
These are just some things that God has taught me this year. As we start the new year, we tend to make resolutions... I don't like resolutions. Most people don't keep them or they have no real purpose. This year, instead of making a resolution, I made a goal. A friend of mine did this last year, and I think it's an amazing thing. I started a Thankful List. Each day, I write in my thankful book something that I am thankful for... Something that God has shown me or has blessed me with that day. The idea behind the list is to remind myself that what I have been given is not of my doing... It's a gift from God. Each day is a gift that I can enjoy and serve.
Can I challenge you? What has God done in your life recently? What blessings (or unfortunate events) are you thankful for?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)